Ifreann

6

  I stop moving and pull my legs to my chest, unable to form any words or even think of something to say but I can't. And the pain that's been bubbling up inside me finally hits and I roll in a ball and fall apart.
 
  Pain sliced right through me from head to toe, like a knife through butter. Cutting me in half, one half dying and the other hanging on for dear life. I am blinded by Greif, blinded by the fact I'll never hear them talk, or scold or shout at me. Never tell me off, never bargen or bribe me into doing something that I didn't want to do.
 
  They were gone, their lifeless bodies hung like trophies on the wall. I could see them. I could even touch them if I wanted but they were gone and with them a part of me. With them a part of my soul went with them and in return they handed me the responsibility of thousands of others making me whole again. But then Each one Died. taking that part with them and breaking me beyond repair. a part of me died with them. A part so big I'm not sure I'll ever get it back, I'll never close my eyes and be ok. I'll never be whole again.
 
  I felt sparks across my skin but it did little to dull the pain that ran through my blood, inserting itself into every pore, every fibre of my body burned so bad I had nothing to focus on but that. So instead of fighting it I crumbled knowing my pack will be ok if this kills me. I want it to kill me. I didn't want to live like this, I didn't want to feel each one die over and over again. So I gave up and said a silent prayer that I would go fast. That I wouldn't suffer much longer.
 
  Greif ate at my insides, turned the lining of my stomach into acids and ate straight through my body. I'm not sure if that was actually happening but that's how it felt to lose them. To lose all of them. Not only was the pain all throughout my body soaking in like a sponge but it was also eating me from the inside out. I closed my eyes and pictured them. I pictured them all, but they warped and rearranged and instead of seeing them happy I had to watch them die. Even my brain was poisoning me. I just lay there and I watched as each one died. Each one suffered as their loved ones were ripped from their arms and murdered in front of them. Kids ripped from beds and parents fighting to the death to save them. I watched it all unfold in my head.
  ——————
 
  Islas POV
 
  I fell in a heap beside her, I was hurting, I lost my parents, my aunt and uncle who were also like parents. They were dead, strung up and displayed.
 
  If only we could cut them down, wrap them in white cloth and hope they would resurrect but I know we weren't that lucky, I knew their insides popped, destroyed and probably in a million pieces. They would actually look at peace if they weren't so dirty. I just sat with Ailm as she fell apart. She was feeling it all and the pain radiated from her but she made me promise that I wouldn't let them take her pain so when Gran came running to her side I snapped out of my trance and stood in front of her.
 
  "Don't touch her, her wolf said she needs to deal with this on her own"
 
  "No way it's going to kill her"
 
  I growled and covered her body with mine, pissed that she refused to listen
 
  "I SAID NO! Deacon lift her and take her inside NOW! Someone get there bodies down and cleaned up when she has recovered we will have a funeral"
 
  Gran tried to push past me but I stood my ground
 
  "That is my Luna and she gave me an order and I am not going to go against her wishes now either step the fuck back or get off our territory"
 
  I was shocked with my own confidence but I didn't care. I was right and she needed to know that I wasn't fucking about. Deacon lifted her gently, Jake stood by my side and we slowly walked backwards as grandpa held gran back and nodded to me.
 
  "Go we will have them ready when she is"
 
  I nod and turn around, luca and aspen come with us and we head to the top floor. I beeped in the code and prayed the rogues never got up here. I opened the door and the scent of my family filled my nose and I whimpered. Ailm whimpered at the scent as I let them all in and I locked the door after them. I brought them to the living room where there was a balcony where we used to sleep at night when we got older and our parents let us look at the stars on our own. I opened the balcony doors as deacon sat on the couch with Ailm on his knee. I went to the bar and grabbed tequila and whiskey leaving dad and Brian's special brandy for another time. I handed everyone their own bottle and pulled the weed I had stored in the back out.
 
  "Close the door and use that blanket to cover the cracks"
 
  I pointed to Luca, he did what I said as I passed everyone a joint then I pulled out the ashtrays and sat by aiims head.
 
  "Did you all live on this floor?"
 
  Jake asks me. There were pictures all over the walls. I smiled at them as silent tears ran down my cheek.
 
  "Not at the start, we lived downstairs but after we both started to climb out of our cots at 2 and find each other. Our parents would freak out. I can't remember it but-"
 
  "I do"
 
  Aspen laughs then continues
 
  "They were only learning how to walk but they could climb before they could crawl and they were constantly beside each other like twins. Anyway they would escape in the middle of the night and find each other and play because they hardly ever slept. Their parents would wake up and freak out because they couldn't find them so they started to lock the doors but they managed to open them so they decided to move onto the same floor and let the girls share a room. That worked for a while but they still got up and wandered everywhere so they had the metal door installed with a code and made there room bigger knocking down a wall and filling it with toys so when they woke up they didn't want to go anywhere"
 
  I smile sadly and wipe my tears then look at Ailm. I rest my head closer to hers and blow some weed at her face. She inhales it. She's not even conscious but I can see it work so I do it a few more times and deacon grins down at me.
 
  "It's working, she's still in pain but it's helping her deal with it"
 
  I grin back and soon aspen starts to help, and quickly she relaxes completely. We do it a few more times then leave it. I grab a pillow and lay on Aspens' knee, she smiles down at me and plays with my hair.
 
  "Luca put on the walking dead"
 
  "Again seriously? How many times have you watched that from the beginning to the end"
 
  "Loads but it's good unless you have a better idea"
 
  He pulls up fast and furious and I roll my eyes, so does Aspen but we watch it anyway. No one talks, nobody says anything. And for a while it's just us and peace. I feel the pain, the loss, the Grief and my heart hurts. I miss them so much already but I know I can get through this with this lot. I just hoped that Jake will be my fated too. I don't want to grow attached in case he's not and I end up losing him.
 
  ———————
  Deacons POV
 
  I was shocked to see Isla stand up for Ailm the way she did. She stood up for her Luna, her sister, her best friend and just the way she held herself it was obvious that she has grown up heaps. How could they not after everything they have faced, but to stand up to family like that, it was something to be proud of.
 
  Ailm had made me promise to let her feel the pain too. Ifreann knows it will make her stronger and if it really will help her to go through this I agreed to let it happen. I'm not surprised the sight of her parents threw her over the edge. That sight alone made me physically sick, to do that to them was beyond disgusting and I hope they have them down and cleaned up when she wakes up again.
 
  It had been hours now and I was really starting to miss her, starting to miss her smart mouth and her and Islas random fucked up conversations. They are the best entertainment iv ever come across, you don't need tv when they are around, put it like that. Isla had the great idea to blow weed in her face and I swear she was inhaling it. Her and Aspen did it every hour to stop her body from trembling in pain. It's like it was helping her deal with the pain so that was something.
 
  She was so beautiful, I couldn't believe I got this lucky. My dad already thinks the world of them both even though he also thinks they are savages. Who knew 2 innocent little girls could turn your world upside down and still make you laugh in the end. Ailm was my favourite person and I have to say isla is close second. But mostly because of the loyalty they have with each other. It's amazing how they defend each other. It's like their entire lives all they had was each other in this crazy powerful family. I don't know what would have become of them if they didn't have each other.
 
  I heard banging at the door again and Isla grumbles turning on her back so her head is resting in jakes arms
 
  "Why won't they go away? I told them she needs time, why is she trying to force this?"
 
  She looks exhausted, Jake lifts her up and kisses her cheek.
 
  "I'll go talk to them, maybe they will listen to me"
 
  "Jake not to stomp on your manhood or anything but my gran will chew you up and spit you out"
 
  He scoffs at her and crosses his arms. She mirrors him and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch as he looks down on her.
 
  "Oh love that's because you don't know me, Not really"
 
  She didn't, Jake wasn't a push over, iv asked the boy to step up and be my beta for years but he refused until she came along and now he didn't have much of a choice. But my pack always treated him with respect because he had earned it. After his parents died he moved in with us and worked damn hard to be who he is and he learned from my father just as much as I did.
 
  "Is that so, ok then let's see how it goes, the code is 7927"
 
  Isla gets up and follows him to the door and opens it so we can see him take on the mighty grumpy lilly. He keys in the code but puts his foot behind the door.
 
  "What is wrong, you know we are waiting out for our Luna to wake up and we don't want anyone else in to touch any of her parents things"
 
  "Get out of the way, this has gone on long enough. She needs to be healed so stand aside"
 
  "No! That is my Luna and I will respect her orders. You have been told before and I will tell you again if you want to stay you will leave her to heal in the way she has requested or you can leave"
 
  He shuts the door in her face and I can hear the agitated scream she lets out, I bite my lip to stop the chuckle, Isla raises her eyebrow at him
 
  "Not so bad after all cowboy, come on let's watch something"
 
  She takes his hand and he smiles happily walking after her like a little puppy. I can't help but chuckle at his face as it lights up excitedly as she warms up to him. I remember that feeling, the moment she let me hold her hand. When we first danced and the first kiss; Damn that was a good kiss. the moment she marked me, she almost floored me and then when I marked her and we did stuff.. fuck when I met her I honestly didn't know if she would ever let me be apart of her life never mind be with her.
 
  She is my perfect half and I still don't understand why people fear her. Why were they disappointed in her? Maybe she is just perfect in my eyes but anything anyone has told me about her it doesn't make me fear her, or annoyed at her. Like they are trying to scare me off so she would have nobody, that's how it feels sometimes when all I can see is how perfect she is and how everything she did was justified. To me everything she did was to get through the day, to survive within a mountain of people who lost faith in her, who stopped caring for her when they should have had her back and it pisses me off. She is mine. Mine to hold and care for, mine to kiss, love and support. She was already my everything.
 
  I rested my head on hers, she had rolled into a ball on my knee at some point and her head rested on my arm. I lay down on the sofa and held her so my face was next to hers. I just lay there watching her, committing her features to memory and no matter how long I looked I couldn't see even one fault with her. She was perfect in every way shape and form.
 
  Her red and puffy eyes open slowly, I smile happy to see her awake. Her bright blue eyes were hypnotizing. She smiles back at me and then takes me by surprise and she kisses me. I grab her face and I kiss her back, she nibbles and pulls on my lip so I open my mouth and she invades it with her tongue. I welcome it moaning as I taste her. She deepens the kiss, pushing me on my back and climbing on top. I know we are surrounded by people but I don't have the heart to stop her. I missed her too much.
 
  "Ewe I do not want to watch you do him Ailm, now get of him you dirty dog"
 
  She groans as Isla throws a pillow at her, I smile up and kiss her lips and she rests her elbows on my chest and looks down at me.
 
  "You kept your promise?"
 
  I smile pushing some hair back from her face
 
  "Always, although isla pulled rank on your gran and told her to leave our property if she won't listen to her Luna"
 
  Her eyes went wide and her head snapped to an extremely proud isla.
 
  "Yep I rock, Jake even put his giant man foot down and wouldn't let her into the flat"
 
  She grins at us all, aspen and Luca had left a while ago needing to return to their own pack but promised to come back tonight for the funeral after they lifted the girls' things from my place. She pauses when she realises where we are, she sniffs the air and smiles
 
  "They didn't get in?"
 
  "Nope, everything is as it was left"
 
  She answers her, Ailm smiles sadly then rests on my chest, I wrap my arms and legs around her, squashing her to me. She giggles
 
  "Get your big man body off my teeny one"
 
  "If you're not careful you'll squeeze a fart out of her and trust the one who has slept beside her for 15 years, you don't want to smell that!"
 
  Isla says and I burst out laughing as Ailm slaps her hand over her face and throws a pillow at her head
 
  "You are such a bitch Isla that is so embarrassing"
 
  She just laughs harder then throws 2 joints at her head. She takes one and gives the other to me resting the ashtray on my chest then she lights her joint.
 
  "I knew you were holding me, and I knew Isla was blowing weed in my face and both helped the pain. But I do feel stronger than before, like each peace that left me isn't an open wound, it's more like a scar but it's hardened me a little but also left a lot more of me then I was expecting. So I know I'm still going to be extremely annoying"
 
  I roll my eyes and rub my hand down the side of her face.
 
  "You couldn't annoy me if you tried doll, maybe make me laugh but definitely not annoy me"
 
  "Your biased because you love me"
 
  "And are you biased because you love me?"
 
  She shrugs and smiles at me then she takes the joint from my mouth and moves the ashtray and kisses me again. Fuck but I love her mouth. I have waited my entire life to find her and I'm never letting her go. She kisses me softly then pulls away and rests her head beside mine and traces her finger over my face. I can't help the little shiver of excitement that flows through me heading straight for my cock. I groan and pull her tighter to cover the evidence before the other 2 dickwebs realise I have a tent in my pants. Ailm catches on immediately and chuckles into my shoulder
 
  Me
  Stop it or they will see
 
  Ailm
  I'm not trying to turn you on loverboy, not my fault I'm irresistible
 
  I laugh out loud and kiss her again. Fuck it I can't stop she's just so fucking amazing. She kisses back and just as I'm starting to get into it her gran bangs at the door again. I pull away cursing under my breath.
 
  "Well that ruined the damn mood"
 
  Ailm laughs and jumps up and throws the pillow at my crotch and winks at me. I adjust myself slightly and roll my eyes as Isla and Jake laugh at my now semi Hardon. Mini me really does not like ailms grandmother. She goes to the door and opens it. As she opened it her grandmother swung the door open and engulfed her in a hug.
 
  "Thank heavens your ok I thought you were going to die then they all kept me from you and arden wouldn't overturn them"
 
  "That's because I made him promise not to gran, I knew I needed to do it alone and I did and I feel better now, I just woke up and I'm going to go down for coffee and get caught up. Why don't you join me?"
 
  Isla and me look at each other in shock at how mature she just sounded. Her grandmother stood back with a frown watching her cautiously.
 
  "Are you sure you're ok?"
 
  You could hear the unease in Lilly's voice but Ailm just smiled.
 
  "I'm sad and I miss them but yes I'm ok. I've got Isla, Jake and deacon so I'll be fine I promise. Guys, will you join us? Please just lock the door, I want to look at this place later untouched with Isla"
 
  "Ofcourse Luna"
 
  We all said at the same time, Ailm blushed slightly as we jumped up and I rushed to her side not wanting to be away from her, she took my hand as Isla and Jake follow us down. When we get there everyone is in the kitchen, when they see us walk in the all smile happy to see my Luna up and well
 
  "Told you you didn't need to worry"
 
  Drake said pulling lilly onto his knee, she sighs
 
  "Sorry but I was terrified. I thought she was going to die on me and I can't lose anyone else"
 
  Drake closes his eyes, pain written all over his face and he buries his face in the crook of her neck then he relaxes slightly and I feel bad for being so harsh. No one should ever have to lose 4 kids in one day.
 
  "So can anyone fill me in on how many kids were left alive, how many are orphaned? Did we kill all the rogues and are the body's ready to be cremated?"
 
  Ailm pulls me to the head of the table, I sit down and she sits on me grabbing my hands under the table and squeezing them, I squeeze back and pull her tighter against me.
 
  "107 kids were saved, most were in the bunker, a few were in the rooms upstairs, but thankfully mum was able to heal those girls. We have 30 orphans but almost all of them had family within the pack who are taking them on, we have 3 kids that have nobody but Mike has asked a couple from deacons pack who have had no luck having children and they are more then willing to take them on but there house was small, to small so we gave them one over on this side so they are moving in as we speak. Everyone received a check so they can clean up their own houses and replace anything that needs to be replaced. Grocery's have been delivered to each family until Tammy can get the shop fixed up properly."
 
  "Where did that money come from?"
 
  "Each pack has an account that we put money into every month incase of something like this and your mum had put all of Xaviers money into it because she wanted nothing to do with him so your set for like 1000 disasters, even I was shocked at how much the wee runt had"
 
  Baylee shivers at the thought of him. I heard what Xavier had done, he really messed up a lot of women.
 
  "Anyway that's separate from your inheritance and everything is in your name so you don't need to worry, me and caden and deacon will show you what needs payed and when"
 
  "I know that stuff, just because I was a disappointment to everyone else doesn't mean I was to my father. He always new I could and would take over so me and Isla are more prepared than you would believe"
 
  She squeezed my hand again and I could feel the resentment she had for her family. She loved them and that much was obvious but even I felt resentment towards them.
 
  "Your right Ailm, I'm sorry. Anyway everything immediate that your parents asked me to do before they died has been done. I know how much faith they all had in you 2 because they told me. They told me how wrong everyone was and that you both would prove that to us and you have. The cremation is tonight out back; their bodies are still being prepared."
 
  "Thank you, gran when you're ready can I get your help redecorating the first 2 floors? For now we can leave the third floor as it is but I want the stench of what happened to those girls, I want it all gone"
 
  "You want my help?"
 
  Ailm softened in my arms and she smiled at her, letting my hand go and grabbing hers
 
  "You might be a royal pain in my ass sometimes but I love you, all of you. I always have and I always will. You're all welcome to stay here for as long as you need, but I'm going to take the top floor with Isla and our mates."
 
  "You're not coming home son?"
 
  Dad asks me sadly, I smile at him
 
  "You can come stay here dad if you'd like but I'm staying with Ailm wherever she wants to live I will live"
 
  "Ofcourse you can stay here Mike"
 
  Ailm adds, Isla smirks
 
  "Least you can have deacons room now old man"
 
  Isla winks at him and I can't help but laugh as dad goes red
 
  "You young lady are in for a world of trouble when I figure out how to get you back"