Secrets I Wished You'd Know by Now

What happens then?

Once again
There's lots i wanna say but i knit my lips shut my because you'll never hear what i have to say,

After all having ears,
does not mean you can hear.

I've tried to make you hear, make you know what goes on inside my head.

But all you do is twist my words, i have to say, you twist them better than i can my cinnamon twists.

I sometimes wonder what it takes to become like you,
So i know exactly what it is that i mustn't do, but then i stop, what if I've already become what you are?

If there's one think I've learned from home, it's that i have no choice, all you do is make me chose what you've already chosen for me

You say you know what is best for me but sometimes i wonder if even i know myself

And then i realise all I've ever known about myself are the things u told me i was

U told me i wasn't zero, i was on the negative side of the scale

U told me i was nothing, nothing without you,

Apparently if i managed to fly,
it was because you were the feathers on my wings
and if i fell,
it was because my wings were broken.

U tell me my tears are fake, it's just an act, stop it,you command.

Well....What do you expect me to do?
You keep jumping up and down in the puddles of hope i somehow manage to craft in my mind,
the puddles,
they've splashed everywhere,
they keep drying out.

What happens when I'm no longer able to make up more of them even if they've all dryed out?