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Y/N's POV
As I sat with Ji-eun unnie and Jessi unnie, the memories of my mother flooded back to me like a torrential downpour. It was as if a dam had burst, releasing a deluge of emotions that I had kept buried deep within me for so long.
"I don't know if I can explain it," I began, my voice trembling with the weight of my emotions. "But Jimin...he reminds me of my mom."
Ji-eun unnie's brow furrowed in confusion, while Jessi unnie leaned in closer, her eyes filled with curiosity. "How so?" Ji-eun unnie asked gently.
"It's...it's hard to put into words," I struggled to articulate my thoughts, my heart pounding in my chest. "The way he cares for people, the way he smiles, the way he acts...it all feels almost nostalgic, like I've seen it somewhere before."
Ji-eun unnie and Jessi unnie exchanged a glance, their expressions softening with understanding. "And what's wrong with that?" Jessi unnie questioned gently, sensing the turmoil brewing within me.
"It's just...it's been so long since I've seen my mom," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Ever since I left her in the care of my brother to pursue my dreams, I've...I've felt lost. And when I saw Jimin helping out his hyungs during the trip, I couldn't help but remember my mom. No, I almost saw her in him."
Tears welled up in my eyes as the floodgates of my emotions burst open, overwhelming me with a sense of longing and fear. Fear of confronting the trauma that had haunted me for so long, fear of facing the reality of my past, fear of acknowledging the pain that still lingered deep within me.
Ji-eun unnie reached out and took my hand in hers, her touch a comforting anchor in the storm of my emotions. "It's okay to feel scared," she whispered softly, her voice a soothing balm to my troubled soul. "We're here for you, always."
But even as her words washed over me like a warm embrace, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at the edges of my mind. What did it mean that Jimin reminded me of my mom? And why did it fill me with such a sense of dread?
As the weight of my emotions threatened to crush me beneath their oppressive weight, I knew that I had to confront my fears head-on. But little did I know that delving into the depths of my past would unearth secrets long buried, secrets that would change everything I thought I knew about myself and the world around me.
And with that realization, I braced myself for the storm that was about to engulf me, knowing that I couldn't escape the tempest raging within me. For in facing my fears, I would finally find the answers I sought, but at what cost?
I sat there in front of Jessi and Ji-eun unnie, my thoughts swirling like a tempest in my mind. No, I couldn't afford to pay any cost, not when it came to matters of the heart. Love was a luxury I couldn't afford, a price too steep for me to even consider paying.
"I can't do this," I murmured to myself, my voice barely above a whisper. "I can't risk hurting him, or myself, in the process. I'm not made for love. I can't afford to let myself fall for him, not when he's just a reminder of someone I loved more than life itself."
As I spoke, a sense of determination settled over me like a shroud, steeling my resolve against the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within me. If Jimin reminded me of my mom, then it was my duty to protect him, to shield him from the pain and heartache that I knew all too well.
"He's just an image, a reminder," I continued, my voice growing stronger with each word. "And I have to protect him, from me, from my fear of love. It's the only wise decision."
Jessi and Ji-eun unnie exchanged a concerned glance, but I paid them no mind. My mind was made up, my path clear before me. I had always been alone, and I would always be alone. It was better this way, safer.
"I've always been alone," I declared, my voice ringing with a bitter finality. "And I'll always be alone."
With that, I pushed back my chair and rose to my feet, determination coursing through my veins like a wildfire. No matter what, I would protect Jimin, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness in the process. For love was a luxury I couldn't afford, and I would do whatever it took to keep him safe, even if it meant sacrificing my own heart in the process.
As I sat in my car, the weight of my decision settled heavily upon my shoulders. My driver navigated through the busy streets, but my mind was elsewhere, lost in a labyrinth of regrets and uncertainties.
When I finally arrived home, I wasted no time in retreating to the sanctuary of my room. With trembling hands, I reached for the familiar frame on my bedside table, cradling it gently in my palms.
"Sorry, ma," I whispered, my voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "I can't keep your promise."
My mother's gentle smile stared back at me from the photograph, her eyes filled with warmth and understanding. It was almost as if she could see into the depths of my soul, sensing the turmoil that raged within me.
"Promise me, you'll find someone to love after me," her voice echoed in my mind, a haunting reminder of the pledge I had made to her so many years ago.
But now, as I stared into her eyes, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. How could I break the promise I had made to the woman who had sacrificed everything for me? How could I turn my back on the one person who had loved me unconditionally, even when I felt unlovable?
"Sorry," I whispered again, my voice choked with emotion. But even as the words left my lips, I knew that I couldn't go back on my decision. For my mother's sake, for Jimin's sake, I had to keep my distance, no matter how much it pained me to do so.
With a heavy heart, I placed the photograph back on my bedside table, a silent reminder of the love I had lost and the sacrifices I had made. And as I lay down to sleep, the weight of my decision pressed down upon me like a leaden blanket, suffocating me with its relentless presence. But deep down, I knew that it was the right choice, no matter how much it hurt.
