It's exactly my third year living in hell with Josh. The first year we had together was the best but then the moment I moved in with him, my nightmares started coming. I don't know why no matter how much he's hurting me, I still find my way back to him. I love him and I'm still hoping that the way he treats me will change eventually.
Until now, I couldn't find the guts to leave him. I always tell myself that I have to do what he says for he knows that it's just for my own good. Or that was I thought it would be?
"Morning. Did you made my coffee yet?" He asked nonchalantly the moment he woke up after beating me up last night.
There would always be a day in a week where he would just exert his anger on me. For him, I always have to be obedient. I always have to do what he tells me to or else it would turn out bad between us.
"Yes, it's in the kitchen." I answered. Despite all the things that I've been suffering, I still think that there's love in him for me. I still hope for that.
Josh showed me what love really is. The first year we were together, he was the sweetest guy I could ever ask for. It all changed when I saw him kissing another girl when we were out the day that I moved in with him.
Despite all these, I always put up a smile whenever we go outside and meet other people. A smile that hides every suffering that I'm dealing with. Tons of makeup to cover up all the bruises that I've got after he had beaten me up.
I have no choice. For years, I've been stuck with him. I couldn't run to my family since they had disowned me when I've chosen to be with him. They never liked Josh for me. They said that he looked so fake and it looks like he was hiding a beast inside him. I kinda guess they were right?
My family and friends does not have any idea about all these, except one—Emily. It was never my plan to let her know about it until she saw me covering my bruises when we were together in a comfort room. Since then, she has been there for me all the time. She may not be always there for me physically, but she's always there whenever I get the chance to talk to her. Josh's house is pretty isolated, the reason why Emily does not always have the chance to visit me. Besides, Josh doesn't want anyone to know where we are staying at. It was his uncle's old house that was given to him. In my three years of living here, I have never met any of his family nor his uncle visited him. All I know is that he had a very rough relationship with them—except his uncle.
"Kara!" I quickly went back to reality when I heard his scary voice. "I've been calling you." He said angrily. My name is Kiara but he had always called me 'Kara.'
"Ohh, I'm sorry. Do you need something, babe?" I asked panicking. I didn't wanna trigger him 'cause my body still feels weak.
"I said get dressed! We are going to buy groceries." He exclaimed. "Napakabingi." He added.
I nodded as I hurriedly walked towards our room to cover up all my bruises. I took me awhile but I did it as fast as I could. This is one of the best days of the month—whenever we go out to get groceries. Josh is lazy. He would make me do all the chores on my own while he just watches and play video games. He would drunk himself until he couldn't get to bed. So I have to drag him from downstairs to our bed, clean up all his mess, and make him breakfast in the morning.
"What took you so fucking long?" He asked. I just shook my head and went to the car. I didn't have to answer him 'cause I know he knows why I took so long to get ready.
It would take us nearly an hour to reach the nearest mall to where we live. There, he would command me to carry the cart and pick all the things we needed while he just walks with me and get whatever food he would like.
The only thing I'm thankful enough is that he pays for everything. I told him that my family took my card so I didn't have anything with me. I'm kinda saving it for future just in case I'll be needing them.
Hope you guys like the Prologue! Will be focusing on this more since Crimson Eyes is almost finished. I'm still battling with myself if how I should let the story go through so bear with me. ;)
—Love, Z.
