Ronan

Chapter Forty-Four

He'd spent a hundred years wondering whether or not Rosa worsened his grip on sanity. Without her this time, he finally got his answer.

No sanity left to lose without her.

His bed was empty. His arms were empty. His heart was ravaged and looted.

Need my woman.

He didn't know how to live without her anymore. To think he'd done it for twenty years made no sense. He couldn't go back to that meaningless existence.

I've lost her forever.

My own doing.

How many times had she asked him to drop this? She'd begged him to have done with this war. She'd told him all along that she'd pull away if he failed to do so.

His woman hadn't been bluffing.

Just like that, she was gone. Out of his life, out of his sight. Never out of mind. Had he done anything but think about her?

He regretted leaving the villa that day after the warlocks had informed him of the intrusion. He'd been dealing with allies and a field of corpses when he should've been at home with her. Where I wanted to be. What was the use in winning this war if he had nothing to go home to?

My home doesn't want me there.

His world had shattered and crumbled as she spoke those words. I never want to see you again.

They'd had their ups and downs—but never had she been so certain. She was done with him, forever.

She was right. Their children didn't deserve a curse of a Father like him. Even as the thought of her finding someone else tore him up inside.

His body thrummed and vibrated with anger.

They were past her due date. She'd have been through labour now.

Better off without me.

Though it pained him to not know his children's names. To not know what they looked like. How they were doing. If they needed anything. If Rosa was okay.

He stormed through the dead land of Triumph, feeling like a shell of a man.

His children were out there somewhere.

And they'll never know me.

Fuck, with a woman like Rosa in their life, they'd never need him.

The lifeless trees turned to dust as he made past them.

Wonder what she'd say about my soul now.

She'd wept over a falling leaf years back. To see it all disintegrating now?

Done with me.

There was no use in wondering.

He made for the castle, for more of his pointless existence. One of his own allies awaited him in the hall, bitter and impatient. They were supposed to meet hours ago. This meeting had been arranged for months. Under present circumstances, Ronan couldn't bring himself to care.

His ally was like him. Misguided. Too focused on things that didn't matter, losing sight on the people who did.

"Where have you been?" Dionysus demanded.

Part of Ronan wondered if Dionysus would be able to follow through on his plans. His children were firmly allies. Staunch allies with relationships too thick to swap sides.

He assumed the news of his daughter's stabbing hadn't gotten back to him either. Or maybe it had. Maybe he just didn't care.

Ronan was beating himself up over the stabbing anyway. No anger from Dionysus could compare to the pain of losing the things he'd lost.