Dreams of Arcadia

36

Fuck... why did it just get so hot in here? And what was wrong with me, did I no longer know any boundaries because I was dead? I'd been making out with San earlier and now I was lying here on the floor, almost drooling at the sight of Jin? I would have loved to grab him by the collar and kiss him, but I couldn't do it with two... No, thanks to Jungkook's kissing attack, there were three... I couldn't share my spit with three guys in one evening... I would never have dared to do that alive... but I wasn't alive anymore... There were no more rules here... but what about morals? I hadn't had so many experiences in my life that I'd found a clear line for myself and only ever lived according to what others expected of me. Did anyone here expect anything of me? Except Kibum, who thought he still had to protect me in the afterlife... My thoughts jumped back and forth frantically, while my gaze was still glued to Jin, who didn't seem to care... but after what I had seen here at the party, no one was interested in what was still considered normal and good behavior in life. Then the realization hit me again... we were free... we could do what we wanted, who was here to judge us? Who had given us rules to follow? Weren't we only responsible to ourselves for what we did? And who said I had to choose just one person here? I was free... free to do what I felt like... and so I didn't hesitate anymore and actually pulled him closer to me by the collar of his shirt, seeing his winning grin before he grabbed my wrists and held me by them, as if he wanted to prevent me from changing my mind.

"I told you, you're mine." was all he said before our lips met. If San's kisses had been loving but passionate, Jin's were possessive, all-consuming and hungry... He skillfully played first with my lips and then with my tongue, making my insides spin in excitement... but I couldn't tell whose kisses were better, they were completely different, but neither better nor worse, than the other's... the only thing I could say was that they both messed me up... in different ways, but no less intense...

"I don't belong to anyone..." I whispered against his lips, but couldn't stop pressing my own against his again and again. But, no matter how nice the moment was right now, with our bodies snuggled together, we were spreading even more food and sauce between us, which was starting to get a little uncomfortable. I discontentedly detached myself from him and looked at him regretfully.

"As much as I would like to carry on... I have to shower and change now..." I said and tried to get up, but he still held me tightly.

"I can come with you, I'm just as dirty as you are..." he said, grinning suggestively, which made me raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, no... Keep dreaming." I said and shook my head to free myself from him before I went into Jungkook's dining room, which was connected to the kitchen by a door, and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from the dining table before going into his bathroom, where I found Changbin asleep in the bathtub. I briefly considered waking him up and throwing him out, but as the shower was opaque, I decided to save myself the stress and just shower, as he probably wouldn't wake up anyway. As the hot water ran over me, I thought about the eventful evening... What did that mean now? I didn't know either of them well enough to enter into any kind of relationship... I had no idea in which direction this would lead, only that they both triggered something in me... nevertheless, I was against any claims of ownership, I was still single, whether it suited anyone or not, I wasn't that easy to catch... They would have to make more of an effort...