Until You [18+]

eight

When I get home, I don't get any surprises.

My grandmother is still laying in her bed up the hall, my mother is still not showing any emotion and neither is my father.

I know they're trying to stay strong for me, but sometimes I need a little bit of emotion in my life.

I make my way up to my room and get changed. I sit down on my bed and just stare at the bookshelf leaning on my wall. My grandmother used to give me old classics.

I haven't read many of them but I've still read some.

I don't exactly know how I'm going to get Not Dude to tutor me but I know I'm not going to give up.

If I completely fail school, I would feel like a failure to my grandmother.

All she wanted for me was to graduate high school and go to college to be a big important person.

And now that she's slowly slipping away from me, I want to fulfill her wishes. She's the most important person in my life, along with my parents.

She treated me with such kindness and respect and just showed me true love. It's going to hurt when I lose her. I know it will.

I don't want to dwell on the fact that I know I'm going to lose her. I have to remember all of the times she either took me out or spoiled me rotten.

She's done so much for me in my life and I couldn't be more grateful to have her.

I need him to tutor me. Whether he likes it or not.

I'm making it my mission to impress him so he tutors me.

But for now, I'm going to get shit-faced.

I walk into my closet and pick out the large bottle of vodka hiding behind a stack of clothes.

It's already half drunken but I know that won't last long.

I unscrew the lid and take a deep breath before shoving the liquid down my throat.

The burn runs all the way down my throat and into my stomach. I swallow all of the leftover vodka in my mouth and quietly cough.

"Fuck." I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut as the burn continues to run down my throat.

I lift the bottle again and continue to let the burn run down my throat. I've had about four big gulps before I start to feel tipsy.

I walk back into my main bedroom and sit down on my bed and grab my phone.

I scroll on instagram while continuously sipping on the vodka. Getting bored, I decide to make a call.

"Hey, Pais." I slur out my words once I hear the dial stop and the line connect.

"Hey, you good?" She replies, worry coating her voice.

"Yeah, getting drunk. Do you think you could do me a favour?" I ask, taking another sip of the vodka I wait for her reply.

"I guess, what's up? Also, why wasn't I invited to this party-of-one?"

"It was last minute, you should come over! Then we can talk about my favour more." I jump up and down in my bed as the words leave my mouth.

"Yeah, okay then. I'll be there shortly. Love you." I hear the jingle of her keys.

"Okay, also bring more alcohol. Love you, too." I smile as the call dies. I lean back in my bed and replay everything that has happened today.

Well, mainly the afternoon. I don't know why I want him to tutor me so bad, but I know I don't want anyone else to tutor me.

I think about us at the diner this afternoon. He was so quiet. He barely talks and when he does it's something to do with how he hates me.

Well, not really but that's what it feels like.

I think back on what he ordered. What did he order? I forgot. But the way he was putting his fries into his mouth.

I watched him. I watched the way he put the fries in his mouth and then licked his fingers. His arm would flex and his veins would pop out.

He was sexy.

Wait, what did I just say? I know I didn't just call Not Dude sexy. I know I didn't. And, if I did i'd be pretty mad at myself.

Why was I even thinking about him? Why was I even thinking about him like that?

Why was I watching him eat? Why was I watching his hands and the way that his hand veins flexed when he picked up a chip?

Or when he went to grab his drink, the veins on the inside of his lower arm would show.

No. I need to stop.

I was feeling that little tingle between my legs and I knew I immediately had to stop. I'm drunk. That's the only reason why I feel like this.

That's the only reason.

Because I'm drunk.

If I was sober I wouldn't be thinking like this. I just have to wait for Paisley to get here and then it can be off my mind.

🂡

It was most definitely not off my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it now. Both Paisley and I were drunk and talking about him.

Trying to find out who he is at least.

We've tried to find him on Instagram, facebook, tiktok, literally everything. And nothing. We couldn't find anything.

He's like a ghost.

Paisley and I go on for a few more hours trying to find out who he could be or what his name was.

But we found nothing.

We just have to wait to go to school to find out who he is.

How are we feeling about the book so far? not many people are reading but that's okay! I'm still grateful for everyone who has read and wants to continue.

You guys are literally sweethearts for choosing to read my book even thought you may not have liked it. I hope you all like this book by the time I've gotten more chapters down and we're getting to the more juicy parts.

It definitely is a slow burn so far but that's kind of how I like my books. A little bit of a slow burn into a good juicy smut filled little mess.

anyways, I hope you enjoyed don't forget to follow and vote. I love you my lovebirds.