Delicate

chapter six

*AN the song fits more with Rafe's pov of the chapter not Ella's 

ALWAYS BEEN YOU - SHAWN MENDES

I wake up naked and alone in the bed and go to check my phone but find it dead. "Shit! My clothes are still outside on the deck!" I groan.  I wrap the sheets around me and tiptoe out onto the deck hoping I don't see anyone. "Dude couldn't even grab my clothes" I mutter in annoyance as I pick them up off the ground and the freezing air pierces my skin. I  walk into the small bathroom off the side of the kitchen and see my reflection in the mirror. I look and smell of sex and sweat, and remnants of last nights events are still all over me. "Ughhhh"

I quickly put on my clothes and begin my "walk of shame" up to Tannyhill. "Thank gosh Ward and Rose are at work" I think to myself. But I think it's obvious they aren't the ones I should be worried about.

*FLASHBACK*

"Okay kiss, marry, fuck: Rafe, JJ, andddddd hmmm... Ooh I know Barry!" "Ew Sarah seriously! I'd rather die than pick any of those for your brother!" "Well good! Because I think one of y'all would actually get murdered if something happened between you!" she laughs.

It's seventh grade me and Sarah are thirteen and fifteen year old Rafe isn't looking like "just Sarah's brother" anymore. Still I hate how he  makes fun of me  and I'm head over heels for JJ so I don't take much notice of it. 

"Would you ever wanna do any of those things with my brother?" I ask. "Um definitely not! Anyone who makes you cry I wanna punch!" "You're the best Sare" I say as I lean over and hug her.   

*PRESENT DAY*

 I manage to sneak back into the house without anyone noticing me and hop into the shower.  I rinse off and let the hot water run over my body just soaking in everything that's happened. Not only do I have a terrible hangover, but my brother and I got in a huge fight, and I slept with my best friends brother who I hate. 

I walk out of the bathroom and am on the way to my room when I see Sarah. "Shit!" I think. "Ella Claire Routledge! Where the fuck were you last night?" "Gosh Mom do you really wanna know?" I sarcastically ask. "Uh yeah I do why didn't you answer my texts? Me and Topper both tried to get in touch with you".  

"Oohh you and Topper?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her. She giggles "Ummm yeahhh... But don't try and distract me! Answer me first". "Ughh fine" I roll my eyes. "I had a huge fight with JB before everyone came over, and so after everyone left I got blackout drunk and passed on on the Druthers okay?"

"I'm so sorry El brothers are the worst". "Eh it's whatever it's not like he could hurt me if it was just through the phone". "Well okay I guess agree to disagree? Just know you can talk to me okay?"

No I couldn't talk to her, she had no perspective whatsoever what my life had been like. She lived a life of luxury as the favorite child with a kind and loving dad, while I started working at 10 to pay bills just for my dad to either gamble it away or spend it on his fucking treasure hunt.  An occasional spanking or timeout was not equivalent to beatings and locking yourself in closets to hide from your parent, kisses on the cheek were not the same as your dad getting paid for his friends doing sketchy things to you after you had taken sleeping pills. 

"Yeah I know I can always come to you Sare" I smile warmly making it as believable as possible. "Now enough about me, SPILL with you and Topper"! "Eeek girl I don't even know! I really like him and he's totally into me (I think?) but I'm so scared. I mean he's besties with Rafe so is that weird?" "Would it be weird if he dated me?" I ask partly as an example and partly because well I'm not sure and probably don't wanna know. "Um I think I would strangle him and put you in therapy for seeing something in him" she laughs and I feel a frown forming and my stomach getting tight. "Do you think that means he'll get upset about me and Topper? I mean he's so sweet and funny and a really good kisser" she winks. "Ew Sarah I don't think I wanna know what happened last night so please just stop" I laugh.