Delicate

chapter seventeen**

ELLAS POV

I drove me and Sarah back to Tannyhill, because she doesn't hold alcohol well, and I have no idea how many drinks she had while me and Rafe were gone. The drive was short, but I was so lost in my thoughts it felt like it lasted for hours.

"Look Ella, I know you're gonna tell me when you're ready, but hopefully that's sooner rather than later" Sarah said, and I just nodded my head. The whole rest of the drive was silent. Once we get back, she tells me to take a shower while she makes us some cocoa. I knew she wanted me to tell her everything, and we're best friends so usually I would. Ever since this whole thing with Rafe I've felt myself pulling away from her, and I know that she doesn't deserve that, plus that'll look more suspicious. So I do tell her 'everything' just leave out the part that I lied when I told JJ that Rafe wasn't my boyfriend. I told her all about our confrontations both this morning and at the club, and she told me she wishes JJ was dead.

I stand under the burning water, contemplating everything that happened. I'm thinking of what could happen with me and Rafe, and I'm mourning the loss of JJ. He wasn't only my lifelong crush, but my best friend. We've been basically inseparable my whole life, but things have been so different lately, and are so different now. It feels as though my brother and the pogues aren't wrong anymore when they call me a kook. I feel like I really am starting to be one, and if I'm dating Rafe? Well then I definitely am.

"What's wrong Ella?" Sarah asks as she walks back into the room carrying to mugs. "Just... thinking," I tell her. "Aw babe I'm so sorry. You're just so fucking lucky that Rafe walked by when he did!" she says, trying to comfort me as she hands me a mug.

"Mhm so lucky" I mumble as I sip from the cup, trying to not dwell on him in front of her. She and I are like soulmates, and I know it's gonna be hell keeping this from her. All I want right now is to be wrapped in Rafe's arms, but I can't, and that's bothering me almost more than all the shit JJ said. Sure Rafe is problematic, but I could fix him.

"Hey Sare I think I'm gonna get changed" I say gesturing to my towel. "Of course! Didn't mean to trap you in here, just wanted to make sure Wheezie doesn't come in. Sorry my cocoa isn't as good as what you made this morning". It's crazy to think all that's happened between sunrise and now.

I walk next door to my room, and there's a wrapped box on my bed. It doesn't say who it's from, and it's wrapped pretty messily so I know it couldn't be from Sarah. I open the box and inside is a folklore cardigan. NO WAY. There's a card inside the pocket

"I'd take good care of this cardigan Princess... like maybe don't let your boyfriend unbutton it since he's the one who accidentally undid the invisible string tying it together"

STOP. The puns, the fact he hand wrote and underlined the song titles, the gift itself?! I can't contain myself. I'm already crying, now I wanna scream-sing my Taylor Swift love song playlist.

But what do I do about Sarah? She will know something's up if I went from super sad and annoyed to absolutely ecstatic.

I call her and tell her I need to go on a bike ride to blow off steam and if anyone asks I'm taking a 'nap' in my room. She says she completely understands, and that she knows she owes me for the amount of times I've covered for her sneaking out.

I ride my bike further and further out of the neighborhood, and I truly feel like I'm flying. Sparks Fly blasting in my ears, the breeze from the ocean, the giddy feeling in my stomach, the gift, I don't know how it gets better than this. I can't help but wish Rafe was with me though... We never did get to go back to his bedroom, and we had so much fun earlier.