SpyNut Collection

11. Nut - Lonely

Author's Note:  Thank you for 2K! Just a quick recap of the past few days and some of Nut's inner thoughts. Since our lovely couple has been apart, there is a teensy bit of angst. Unbeta'd. Please forgive any mistakes. Happy reading.

The days were blending together. Ever since Songkran ended, his days were pretty consistent and monotonous. Wake up, get ready, lounge around, be on his phone, check social media, speak with managers, do a couple things for SoLynn, and just be left with his thoughts the majority of the time.

It didn't help that he wasn't sleeping very well either. He tossed and turned in his bed, kicking the covers off, then pulling them back on. No matter what position he lay in, Nut just couldn't seem to get comfortable. The empty space beside him spoke volumes; suddenly his bed seemed too big for him, the covers were too heavy, the pillows were too flat or too tall.

But the worst part? He was left alone with his thoughts and his brain loved to steer him towards the bad thoughts. His tendency to worry and overthink permeated into his brain. Sai was so good at distracting him from his mind, mainly because they would be bickering over something trivial or Nut was teasing him about something. And when they would finally wind down for the night, Sai's presence and scent just seemed to keep the monsters at bay.

Nut tried soft music, white noise, rain sounds, aromatherapy, but Sai seemed to be the best. The past few nights, Nut had been hugging RJ to sleep, which allowed him a few hours at a time. Maybe it was blessing that he didn't have a schedule planned since he could see the bags under his eyes.

It wasn't Sai's fault. They both knew just how busy Sai would be with his project. It seemed that if Sai wasn't in workshop, he had some other engagement to go to. Nut barely received any texts or replies from his boyfriend, much less an invite to Facetime or call. Of course Nut would still text his 'good mornings' and 'goodnights' as well as some reminder texts. He was lucky if he got a reaction to his messages.

Nut was relegated to watching clips of event on social media like the rest of the fans. At least the fancams allowed him to see Sai, which brought a smile to his face. Once, he had been lucky enough to get a reply from Sai but it had been when he already had gone to bed and he didn't see it until the next morning.

[Sorry, was busy. Goodnight.]

Nut was reminded of the one interview they did when every cast member had voted him as the 'moodiest' one. Sai had said that there were times when he just didn't want to be on his phone so he didn't get back to his Line messages. Nut had been sulky and ignored Sai for three whole days even though Sai had apologized. But this wasn't one of those times so he couldn't even be moody even if he really wanted to.

Nut sighed as he turned off the tv and went to run himself a bath. Being immersed in warm water felt like he was being wrapped in a hug. A hug that he much needed at the moment. He even dimmed the lights and lit a couple of candles. He had soft music playing on his Bluetooth speaker. Slipping into the water, Nut lay back in his tub, eyes closed, just feeling the warmth envelope him. The soothing scent of the candles wafted through the air, and for a moment, Nut felt some peace. But it was short lived when he heard his phone go off. Nut reached out to grab it on the counter.

"Hello, Ten?" He answered when he saw the name flash across his screen.

"P'Nut, I'm hungry, let's go eat." Topten's excited voice came through the speaker. Nut was a little jealous of the enthusiasm he heard.

"Now? What do you want to eat?"

"No, not now, tomorrow! Let's go have hot pot!" Nut swore that Topten had some kind of unhealthy addiction to hot pot. Even if it was 40 degrees outside, Topten could stomach boiling meats and veggies in broth. And despite Topten's small size, he could put away quite a bit of food.