the picture in my mind

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Another vent chapter??!!! What the sigma!!!! /j

WARNING
angst(?)

Chat I'm NOT self projecing onto fan!!!

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FANS POV:

all I could do was cry listening to music while waiting for people to reply to me, this year sucks and I feel ignored

Testube still left me on read, paintbrush had me on delivered, cabby didn't even see what I'm sending her, all my friends did bother to check or reply

I just layed down on my bed with my earbuds in, trying to distract myself by YouTube videos, music, and reading

Everyone looked at me weird, I knew I was weird but everyone saw me as this crazy person...it hurt to just go on my messages and see no reply, I'd been checking my phone every minute...no message

I'm afraid I'm bothering everyone, I'm sorry to everyone who has to deal with me...i started crying, going back to watch videos to keep me distracted...

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Still on my bed, I can't get up...i don't wanna..i don't have the energy, but I'm so hungry

I hate doing this, why am I laying here crying when I'm the one doing this? I can't keep up everyone looks happier with someone else

The room was silent, I wasn't listening to music just staring at the ceiling...i was being lazy when everyone was up and doing something

And yet again no messages...no ones on their phone just offline and being happy, I felt like throwing my phone across the room or just letting all my anger out

I still cried on the bed, I didn't wanna do anything, my clothes were on the floor, trash and everything...its so messy I hate it...

Maybe I could get away, in my mind just dream getting away from my problems and being happy

I closed my eyes, imagining everything everywhere that made me feel at home, just a land with peace and no one to bother me, no one to ignore me

It felt so real, a place where I could get away...i wanted more of this, but I had to be careful

But then I continued to go along with the made up people in my mind, people like me..

That wasn't until I was woken up...by paper he was shaking me awake..

There I was...back to reality, I hated this, I didn't pay attention to paper and just stared at him

When he got out my room, I fell right back asleep, to a place where I was happy

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