The Blinding

Chapter 9 - Tissa

"You must leave tonight," Iftiin said.

"Tonight?" I repeated warily. "You want me to leave now?"

"Essentially," she said matter of factly, as if she wasn't telling me to abandon the only place and the only people I'd ever known. I thought of her, Loyaan and even Batuulo. As much as I couldn't stand Batuulo right now, she'd been the closest thing I had to a sister, though I rather thought that was more of obligation now. And Loyaan. he was a true friend. Although he never asked too many questions, I knew he cared for me - could I really leave without seeing him? And Iftiin. Leaving Iftiin would be like leaving my mother I was sure of it. Being an orphan, I'd never thought much of losing parents I'd never known, but to leave Iftiin would feel like becoming orphaned all over again.

"Listen to me, if Loyaan even uttered a word to this to his father, he will be looking for the person spreading the rumor, whether or not it is true. And if you leave now, the others will think you deserted. I can simply say I went to wake you from your sleep after not finding you in the kitchen, only to find your bed empty and your things gone. With any hope, Loyaan's father won't bother to hurt you when he becomes aware that you left, no longer around to tell anyone else. That is the best possible outcome. You have to go before the sun rises, " she reiterated.
"How can I leave now? I have nowhere to go."
Iftiin thought for a moment, "I've been to the slums -

"How-?" I began, but she cut me off.

"Though they're run down there are a few motels you can stay in, at least for a couple days. You will find work. Luckily, you have some skills, you can read, write, sow. I'm confident you can support yourself. Find Idil, ask around and if worse come to worse, I know some people that can help. If that happens, write to me and we'll sort it out together."

"There is a flaw in your plan Iftiin, I have no money," I said miserably.

"But I do," she replied matter of factly. I opened my mouth to decline. "Tissa," said Iftiin stopping me, "what use does an old servant like me have for money? I have no family to take care of, aside from you. Let me put my money to good use, please."

I've always felt like Iftiin was family, but for her to call me family was touching, and with the way she was helping me I truly felt it.

I couldn't stop myself from embracing her. She held me back and stroked my curls. "Be well my child," she said after a little while, gripping my shoulders. "And remember I will always be your home."

I left the room awash with emotion, with the fear that I would never see Iftiin again. Money in pocket, I moved through the halls soundlessly, that is until I bumped into Loyaan. Of all the people, I thought. Leaving Iftiin was bad enough but he would not let me leave without a fight, that much was sure.

Although I tried to play off the reason why I was creeping through the halls in the dead of night, he snuck up on me as I looked down an empty corridor, checking if the coast was clear. "What are we looking at?" he whispered. I temporarily jumped out of my bones in fear until I realized it was him. At first I was relieved, but as remembered Iftiin's suspicions, anxiety at being alone in the halls with him struck. Would he have told his father and betrayed me? Not on purpose surely, I thought. But either way it didn't matter. It was time for me to leave and I needed Loyaan to get out of my way. Unfortunately, that task became much more difficult than I expected.

Were you visiting a man? Is someone taking advantage of you? I can help." he said wondering what I was doing at this hour. It was audacious of him to assume that any one of these shapeshifters would bother with me, most of the people here preferred to act as though I did not exist. I was warmed at his concern, and his eagerness to protect me, but I almost said yes. If he had told his father the last thing I wanted was for Iftiin to get in to trouble at my expense. A jolt of anger hit me when I said "you already know too much?"
He questioned the meaning of my words and asked if I did not trust him. The answer was much more complex of course. Before visiting Iftiin, I might have said I trust him with my life. But now I was not so sure.

Turns out I was right not to trust him. After following me to my hut, Loyaan confronted me, and I him. Only to find out he had went to his father with my suspicions. The disappointment I felt was staggering.

"God, Loyaan," I yelled. I could tell by the look on his face that he had did the one thing I expected him not to. "I thought you of all people could be trusted!" The rage and the fear that consumed me could not be tamed and unfortunately it resulted in another mystical occurrence. One that I did not notice, in my haste to pack. After learning of his disloyalty, it felt like I couldn't leave fast enough. As I had suspected however, he did not make it easy.

"You would have left without saying goodbye?" he asked, and the answer was yes, but it would've pained me to do so, and I could tell by the ache in his voice it might have pained him more. In the end maybe that's why I agreed to stay one more day. I didn't exactly need his help to leave, nor did I need an escort to the slums. The truth of it was that I needed to soothe the worry in his eyes, and I couldn't let myself leave after he begged me to stay.

The thought of what Iftiin would say when she saw me in the morning, and the chaos of the last couple of days left t me weary as Loyaan walked out of the cracked door of my hut. Sleep came quickly and I let it. Setting my improvised bag onto the floor next to my bed I drifted off, trying not to let the foreboding of tomorrow burden my senses.

I awoke to a presence in my room shaking me out of slumber. My body had not yet adjusted to the daylight that assaulted the room and my shut eyes. "mmm," i grumbled annoyed, my mind not registering the severity of what was happening. It only took me a few seconds but ultimately I jolted up, eyes opening wildly, to find Iftiin standing over me, arms crossed with a look of motherly frustration across her face. Not meeting her eyes, I sighed deeply and waited for set down to come. It would be even worse when I confessed that I had stayed because of Loyaan. I lifted the covers over my head and hid from her disapproving gaze.

"So not only are you still here, but you've decided to sleep in as well. Are you looking to bring suspicion on yourself, Tissa? Here I am worried about your night journey to the slums, and all the while you're laying here sleeping like a baby. Why?" she tapped her foot waiting for my explanation. I shifted around under the covers and prayed that the mattress would swallow me. With no such luck, I lowered the sheet and met her eyes.

"Well?" she inquired continuing to tap her foot impatiently. I sat up in the bed and looked down in shame.

"I figured one more day couldn't hurt." I said not very reassuring. "Besides now we can have a proper goodbye." Even I didn't believe my too cheerful tone.
"If you think for a second I'm buying that then you must take me for some sort of fool. Now," said Iftiin taking a seat on the foot of the bed. "what changed?"

I took a deep breath before replying "I ran into Loyaan last night."

"Loyaan?! You're telling me that the very person that caused you to leave somehow persuaded you to stay?" she huffed in disbelief.

I sat silent while Iftiin berated me. When I said nothing, she fell silent as well. Again, avoiding her eyes, I told her of my meeting with Loyaan the night before.

"So he did tell his father," she sighed with a tsk. "Foolish boy."

"Hmm," I grunted in response, not sure what to say.

"Well, not much we can do now." said Iftiin. I breathed in relief now that her anger subsided.

"What do I do?" I asked, at last meeting her eyes.

"I will cover for you today. If the other ask I 'll tell them you're sick with something horribly contagious. That should buy you at least a day. I'll come back when the work is done for the day. Do what you must Tissa, but you may not stay here after nightfall. Until then, let us hope that the boy can manage to get his father off your trail."

I nodded conclusively. Please Loyaan, I prayed silently.