i dreamt i was screaming
so loud my voice box started to break
but you didn't hear me
i woke up i realized i was crying
you are just there a couple of feet
you've seen me but you didn't see me
you heard me but didn't listen
what i felt, what i was trying to say
i was the one who was bruised and beaten
but you do your best of putting the blame on me
you asked where the trust went
when you found you didn't know a thing about me
i was either too plump or too skinny
i was never enough, always insufficient
did you know how the blades felt
as it grazed the deeper level of the skin
did you know how many pills
it would take just for someone to end
did you know how many therapist
it would take to uncover just the base
do you know how it feels dying from the inside
i eat too little, i ate too much, such a mental suicide
did you know i hurt myself not to hate you
how i hated me now you want to celebrate too
i promised myself i will one day get out of this hell
that we dug together so i can drown myself in over and over again
let's cheers to the overly emotional monster you raised
i guess we'll be doing this shit again next year
blow the candle and make a wish
for another box of lexapro and anxiety pills
