I'm not sure how to say this in a way that won't accidentally send this message so, I'll just put this here:
I am fine with people moving on. I do not want to hold any one of you guys back, nor make you feel bad for this.
With that being said...
It hurts seeing people moving on from this place.
Watching as all the people I've met deciding to go to different websites or just stopping writing altogether always feels like I failed.
I always just think I could've or can convince them to stay.
The problem is that I shouldn't.
People move on, I'm learning that especially, but I suddenly don't want anyone to.
I'm a hypocrite.
And it's not a bad thing that people are going to better sites.
Wattpad is falling apart, and is mainly known for its cringe and basic stories.
So it's nice that people are either going to a website with a better community and design, or even thinking their stories surpass the usual quality of Wattpad. (Most if not all of the stories I've read here definitely do, basically everything I've read is actually published book level of quality.)
But I still feel sad.
I think I failed.
I always convince myself it's because of me.
It's stupid. I'm stupid. My brain is stupid.
But it still convinces me so well that I just slowly eat away at myself until I either just accept the fact I made them leave...
or I never accept the fact that they're gone.
I hate to admit this.
But I am a stalker at some points.
Most people I've accepted that they've moved on and just that's it but... some people I can't let go of.
I'm afraid that I can't let go.
And I'll just slowly hurt as I watch people leave around me.
...
Don't feel bad if you're leaving btw.
I can live. I will live. I just have to say this to help get over these stupid thoughts.
And although I just spent an entire chapter talking about how I'm gonna feel bad when people leave the site,
I also kinda feel proud.
It gives me a small amount of joy watching people get better at the things they like, and naturally go to better places because of it.
Go live on. Don't let my stupid self hold you back.
I'm proud of y'all.
Cya whenever I come back next. :]
