I've felt my head try to rip itself apart way too many times to count.
It wants nothing except to implode, and I'm forced to try to keep this black hole waiting to happen from supernova-ing.
My brain just isn't compatible with itself.
It's like when someone gets an organ transplant, and their body rejects the new organ.
Except with every nerve in my brain.
Static is the best and only way I can describe it.
A jumble of random thoughts, all bubbling to the surface and trying to be the only one standing.
Information unable to be understood by modern technology.
Unfortunately the modern technology is my head, which is trying to die.
I want to convince myself that I can just live like this, a constant barrage of thoughts, feelings, and actions desperately trying to destroy any other brain functions, but I can't anymore.
I don't think I was meant to live.
Forget my last chapter, I'm weak.
I'm a puzzle forced together by smashing the pieces together, not by solving it.
A puzzle that threatens to break at any moment, the second I give up keeping myself together.
It's a nightmare.
My life is a nightmare.
Focus on keeping myself together so hard I forget everything else, and when I try to rebuild the hobbies or relationships I lost, I fall apart.
It's like a wheel, forever looping in a cycle of despair and self hatred.
And all that's left on the Grindstone is the impossible to understand static.
