Well I'm not as weak as everyone says I am.
I'm suicidal.
Everyone knows that at this point.
But I'm tired of people treating me differently now that it's known.
Everyone acts so carefully around me nowadays.
Thinking that if they do anything wrong I'll immediately try to end my life.
Like how I have practically no privacy now.
I can't do anything without someone always being in the room with me.
I can't say anything without someone making a comment about it to "make me feel heard".
It makes me feel like I'm a zoo animal.
Every single minute thing I do is watched carefully to make sure I don't do anything bad.
I can tell everyone around me is walking on eggshells trying to talk with me.
Nobody takes me seriously.
They think if I do anything alone, I'll implode.
They think helping me or pointing out something I'm doing is helping.
I feel scrutinized.
I understand a little.
Yes someone with suicidal tendencies shouldn't be left alone.
But they should still get privacy.
They should be able to lie on the floor without someone asking if they're alright.
They should be able to ride their bike without someone asking or forcing themselves to come along.
They should be able to be themselves.
I'm not weak.
I've struggled against my mental health for more than a decade now.
I've survived hell and back.
But now it's public, so people are concerned.
I don't dislike help.
I just dislike being treated as a bomb which needs to be studied at all times so it doesn't go off.
Stop pretending like you not caring will kill me.
I've already gotten used to it.
It won't hurt me now.
Cy'all. I _ < <3
