A Father's Journey Of Renewal And Embrace

Chapter 6 - Runaway

RICOCHET

My Dad doesn't get me. I mean, I have been acting like he should have gotten me right from the start, but that is beside the point here!

What is it that we're missing, I ask myself? It's unsettling to see the clear gap dividing our different perspectives of everything from one another. I can't seem to put my finger on it, though.

I sit up with a sigh and switch on my headphones to their maximum level, thinking about, well, everything. While I haven't felt like myself lately, Dad hasn't changed in the slightest.

But damn, that burger was good.. I'm craving for more.

I sigh with frustration, knowing that I cannot let my father's joy in seeing my integrity disintegrate win. I want to avoid becoming a hypocrite, just like him, so I must stay inside, even if that means no more burgers.

For a short second, I consider how smoothly things might go. If I just stop being so difficult...

Even with the happiest music playing, I can't help but feel the loneliness creep in. To go outside is an act I would only allow myself to do if I weren't so stubborn, but unfortunately, that's not the case here. I'm not going to give Dad the chance to say "thought so" or "I had a feeling you'd come out" to my face. I'm too competitive for that.

I promised to stick by him despite the harm his ridiculous choices had caused to our relationship and way of life. But she's the one person I can turn to for support right now, when I feel more exposed than ever.

While reminiscing about her and how life would've been if she stayed, I look at her photo that's been sitting on my bookshelves, slowly letting my feelings slip past my mind. Gosh, all I wanted to do was cry.. She's just right there, right in front of me.

I reach my hand out in front of me towards the picture as though to embrace her ghost, and then I caress the air in the same manner that she would my face. That's when the tears that had welled up in my eyes started to sting. I missed her wonderful scent that soothed me every day, her kisses, and her good-night hugs. I was bonded to her even as a little child. Up until the day she passed away, she was everything to me, and I never wanted to be apart from her..

As the feelings stung my chest for a long minute, I wipe my tears, angry at reality. She didn't have to go, so why did she?

I thought it was funny that Dad feels like he's the only one suffering here, as though he's the only one carrying all these weights..

I instinctively rush to pack my bags with everything I'll need for the streets, including clothes, as the rhetorical questions keep racing through my mind with woeful tears gushing from my eyes and staining everything in my path.

Fuck this place, I'm out..

Knowing that my father has most likely passed asleep by now, I yank open my window and jump out as if I have nothing at all to lose. Though I don't really care anymore, this was arguably the worst choice I have ever made in my life. But I'm sick of the work and having nothing in return. I know that I have the right to demand something in return... But what's keeping me from doing just that? With that question lingering in the back of my mind, I realise something and stop myself where I am before turning back. 

No, not to Dad..

"Damn it.." I throw my bag next to the bush outside my window and go inside to get something that I foolishly almost forgot.

Mum..

I made a run for it, pulling the straps over my shoulders as Mum's picture sat peacefully in my arms. Knowing that the photo frame would take up too much extra space, I chose to bring the image itself instead of the frame.

I was sweating so much that I could feel my face burning, and I had no idea where to go. I'm not cut out for life on the streets, and even if I were, Dad would still find me lost. I'll have to travel since hiding in town is the only way he could find me.

I drag my phone out to call a number that I know Dad would never be able to reach, and while I fight my way through the long grass by the side of the road so that none of Dad's friends can see me, I wait for the other side to pick up and pull the earpiece to my ear. If that same guy still lived down this road—that is, if he even remembers me—going on the road would blow my cover completely. Fortunately enough for myself, I remembered travelling down here with Dad a few years ago to visit his friend from work. In any case, I had to avoid drawing anyone's attention, that was my biggest concern right now, until the other side finally picked up.

"Hey.. Do you mind if I ask you a small favour?" I speak into the mouthpiece with a hurried tone before smiling at the reply.

"Thanks, Justin.."