An Extraordinary Life

Chapter 3 - Teenage blues, romances, and motherhood

At fifteen and a half, I quit school and started putting on eyeliner. My ex-classmate helped get my first job working with her as a sales girl in a boutique owned by a famous football player and his clingy but beautiful flight-attendant fiancée. They liked to hug and kiss a lot. He was famous for his strong legs with his twenty four-inch thighs which were bigger than my waist. He could probably kill a person with one kick. In less than a year, I saw many handsome football players and beautiful flight attendants visit their shop. I admired flight attendants very much and wanted to become one and travel the world. Back then, it was strictly for tall, fit, and beautiful girls who didn't wear glasses. They were like beauty queens. I wanted it so much that I applied to one but I was rejected. Our boss was nice and played with us like a big brother but sometimes we felt he was getting too close. One time he even sat on my shoulders.

A young and handsome trainee footballer who every girl wanted often visited the shop after training with my boss. He was soft spoken and had a shy sweet smile when he joked. Sometimes he could be cocky too. I had a crush on him and my heart raced when he was around. Of course he picked the most beautiful girl to make out with. But another time, when we were alone in the shop, after some usual teasing and bickering between us, he pulled me inside the changing room and gave me a good long kiss that almost made me faint. I daydreamed that he actually liked me the most. Sadly, it never happened again no matter how much I wanted it to. Later on, I felt as if he only kissed me out of pity for the ugliest girl working there. But it really was a good kiss. I ran into him ten years later at a disco where Mr. Y (my future boyfriend) was working and to my surprise, he was not attractive anymore.

I had kept in touch with my elementary school classmates. One of them was a straight-A, nice, and handsome boy who the girls talked about all the time. I had secretly liked him a lot since grade five and we had been in the same class since grade one. After graduation, he became one of my pen pals at the age of fourteen/fifteen. I usually hid myself inside the tiny room. I would use the four-drawer cabinet to read, write, and draw my depressing insecurities to my pen pals. We were infatuated with writing letters and even learned to fold them neatly to perfectly fit into the envelope. After more than a dozen letters and some phone calls, he said, "I want you to be my girlfriend."

I was happy someone actually liked me, but I thought it was only out of pity and became confused and scared. I told him "No," and ended the conversation.

Due to lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem, I broke up with him even though we weren't really dating officially. A handsome, nice boy like him with a bright future shouldn't date someone like me, ugly and with no future. I also considered myself a bad girl who liked to fool around and not take life seriously. Although deep down, I knew I was nice and kind. He was hurt and even cried. One day he showed up in front of my shop with one of his classmates to have a talk with me but I turned him down by ignoring them for his own good. They stood there waiting for a long while before leaving disappointedly.

A few months later we saw each other on a trip with more than a dozen of our Old Boys. We were still girls with girls and boys with boys - that kind of thing. He still wanted me but I ignored him while still checking on him the whole time with a happy feeling inside of me. We were hiking in a ravine full of rocks. I was the most fashionable girl, wearing a bright orange tank top, multi-colour-checker bellbottoms, and wooden sandals. What was I thinking?

I was fine when we walked up but when we walked back, I felt like I was going to fall. As expected, minutes later I slipped and fell which all of us knew was going to happen. I hurt my lower back with tears in my eyes but still tried to be strong and get out of this big embarrassment by walking down by myself. He rushed to me and insisted, "Let me carry you down the path." I said "no" but he was so strong and already scooped me up like a little girl.