Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 31 - "He burned them alive."

               Sitting in Robb's tent, I'm waiting for dinner. Around the table, the last members of our family hardly dare to look into each other's eyes. My brother and his wife, Talisa, hold hands on my right. To my left, my mother is lost in her thoughts.

               In Winterfell already, we had a complicated relationship. I think she always expected more from me than I could give her. Anyway, that's the only explanation I could find for her behavior.

               When I came to say goodbye to her in Bran's room before the big trip to King's Landing, she didn't say a word to me. No more when she came to the capital to warn my father of the danger we were in. I had given up on our relationship to preserve myself. I already have enough problems like that.

"You should have been in Winterfell" I say then, unable to hold my tongue any longer.

"Diana..." begins Robb.

"Not you. Her."

               Finally, for the first time in years, Catelyn dares to look me in the eye.

"You should have been with your children. They needed you!"

"I did what I had to do" she says.

               And then it hits me. It's so brutal that if I wasn't already sitting, I would fall. I thought I was acting like my father, but I'm just a dark reflection of my mother. Doing what we had to do is neither an excuse nor a justification. Before I was confronted with it, I never realized that I kept saying it.

               That's what I told Sansa when she blamed me for marrying Joffrey instead. This is the explanation I gave Theon when I left Winterfell. These are the last words Tyrion heard before I disappeared on the streets of the capital.

"You did what you thought you had to do" I correct her. "You sacrificed two of your children for another."

"You have no idea what it is to have children!"

               My hands get sweaty. And when my heart starts beating, I feel like I hear a second one. I haven't bled for two months. And if.... No, I can't. I must be stressed.

"You're right!" I answer her with a trembling voice. "I have no idea what a mother's love is."

"Diana!" Robb gets angry.

"Will you stop fighting?" I turn to him. "Will you go back to Winterfell? Will you take back our family's stronghold?"

"Roose Bolton sent his bastard son..."

"Ramsay? Do you trust Ramsay?"

               I know Robb doesn't know him, but I know Ramsay Snow.

               It is customary for the Governor of the North to visit his vassals once every x year. When I was 15, my father asked me to accompany him on his tour. It was there, during our stay at Dreadfort that I met Roose Bolton's bastard. He was not treated like Jon. He could not eat with his brothers but had to serve them. I quickly understood that he had great ambitions.

               Ramsay was a few years older than me. At the time, when the search for a husband was going well, I could have chosen him. If everything hadn't gone wrong. This is what will happen to Theon if Ramsay takes charge of him.

"You won't surrender, right?"

"I must go on" my brother says.

"Tywin will eventually win. If he doesn't kill you by himself, he will send someone to murder you, he will trap you when you least expect it."

"Then I will always expect it."

               Without further ado, I rise from my chair.

"I have to go back to King's Landing, Sansa is waiting for me."

"You can't just leave!" my mother stops me. "You can't come here, blame us for the death of my children and go!"

"The death of my brothers. I blame you."

"Where have you been?!"

"I was doing my duty!"

"Just like me!"

"Your duty was to be at home! With your children! Rickon was 7!!"

               I turn to swallow my tears, I can't start crying in front of her, not now.

"I... am the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, whether you like it or not."

"The Seven Kingdoms no longer exist" says Robb. "You said it yourself, there is a king on every street corner."

"I don't like it any more than you do, but Joffrey is the only true king of Westeros, no matter how painful. And I'm his queen."

"See you on the battlefield."

               I remain forbidden for a moment, my gaze planted in Robb's. For the first time since my arrival, someone has expressed the tension that surrounded us with words.

"I love you, Robb" I dare say before I leave the tent.

"So do I."

♐︎

               I have been walking for a week. The very night of my argument with my mother, I left the camp to reach King's Landing as quickly as possible. Making this whole trip was a bad idea but, obviously, it was more than just a getaway. Beyond my desire to stop this stupid war, I had an irrepressible need to escape from this damn castle.

               When I see the city gates appear, it is already dark. There is not a single noise, which is not normal. King's Landing never sleeps completely. The two guards posted above the wall look at me without really understanding what I'm doing here. They must not have been made aware of my disappearance, as I would have expected.

"Open!" I yell at them.

"We cannot, Majesty!"

"It's not a request, it's an order!"

               They talk for a while, but I don't hear what they're saying. They don't know what to do, I understand it but still! If the doors must remain closed it is because a danger is approaching, and they cannot leave me at the mercy of this danger.

"Who ordered you to guard the door?" I ask them.

"The Hand, Your Majesty!"

"And why?"

"Because Stannis Baratheon is coming."

"Are you kidding me?! You could have said that earlier!"

"You did not ask..."

               I seem to have underestimated how long my trip would take. I need to act quickly. I leave his two incapables behind me and follow the ramparts. The wall goes around the whole city. Thus, along it, I will arrive on the banks of Blackwater Bay.

               I only knew of the beginnings of Tyrion's plan, so I cannot know what awaits me on the other side. What I do know is that Stannis will come this way.

               I have to get to the beach as soon as possible. So, if the fight hasn't started yet, I could find Tyrion inside the ramparts. Arrow, unsure of herself on the rocks, moves slowly behind me. She should not be injured before the fight begins.

               When I step on the sand, a huge explosion sounds from the middle of the water. A green mushroom gleaming several tens of meters rises above Blackwater Bay. Wildfire.

                Just before I left, Tyrion told me about this substance. It's a flammable liquid that burns even on water. It was invented centuries ago when the dragons disappeared, and the Targaryen began to complex. That's what the Mad King used against his enemies. He burned them alive.