Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 37 - "Chaos is a Ladder."

               Since my big announcement, the lords of the Council have imposed on me certain rules that I do not respect. I continue to train with Bronn and eat whatever I feel is right. Nevertheless, I no longer drink a drop of alcohol. I don't want my child to end up like Joffrey... and I don't want to end up like Cersei.

               The members of the court treat me as if I were porcelain and that I could break at any moment. The Tyrells are the nicest, Margaery even more than the others. Joffrey is the one who has changed the most. He acts exactly as he did when we met. If I were an idiot, I'd think he could erase the first two pathetic years of our marriage. Except he's the only idiot here.

               Tyrion has distanced himself. I guess he'd rather spare me the pain of loving someone who doesn't love us back. Sansa is the only one who really changes my mind. For some time now, she has in mind to marry Loras Tyrell. He participated in the Hand's Tournament and would have been killed by the Mountain if I had not intervened. He never thanked me. Our paths have no longer crossed.

               Except that, in King's Landing, there is no need to meet a person to know everything about them. And rumors about Ser Loras' leanings are going well. Renly was also paying that price.

               Sansa doesn't deserve a life with a man who can't love her. But she doesn't deserve to be locked up inside the walls of the Red Keep. They say that Highgarden is beautiful. It's a good place to live. And her children will give her the love that her husband cannot.

               Except that, all this is very nice, but no one has asked for his hand yet. Tywin who oversees finding her a good party, I could slip him a word about this budding love.

♐︎

               Installed on my sister's bed, a book on her knees, I wait for her to finish trying on her dress for the wedding of Margaery and Tommen so that we can go for a walk. I don't pay much attention to what Sansa and Shae say but I still hear a few words. Like «Loras» and «family».

               As Shae prepares to take off her dress, the door opens, and a maid announces Tyrion Lannister. This name resonates in me and awakens every part of my body at rest. I can hear my heart beating. I hope to be the only one.

               Far too aware of my status (queen and pregnant), I don't bother getting up. I just dust my dress.

"Forgive me, ma'am. Majesty."

"Lord Tyrion..."

"Good morning, Lord Tyrion" says my sister. "I was trying on a dress for Prince Tommen's wedding."

"Yes. It will surely be quite a wedding."

               A few things in his voice, in his intonation, let me think that he is not coming to announce good news.

"I need to talk to you, Lady Sansa."

"I'm listening."

"In private, if I can."

"What do you have to tell her in private?" Shae intervenes.

               Sansa rebukes her and then allows him to speak. The dwarf then turns to me, waiting for me to leave. Except I won't leave this bed. What concerns Sansa concerns me too.

"You know me too well to think I would go."

"Sometimes we think we want to hear something. And it is only after, when it is too late, that we realize that we would have preferred to hear it in totally different circumstances."