this is no longer what it started out as

🖤deadbeat who? 🖤

yes this is me projecting one hyperfixation on another fuck you

based on the frank gallagher memory loss scene from shameless

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nihil fell.

(again).

he'd been in the hospital for a couple days and based on his deadbeat nature, nobody really visited him except sister imperator but after a couple days a young boy with brown hair was wheeled in on a bed next to him.

nihil had suffered a memory dysfunction, common in head related injuries. he kept calling sister imperator mom and she just ignored it. this boy though, he thought was copia. he didn't talk to him for a bit since he was asleep but eventually he woke up and looked over to nihil.

"what are you here for?" the young boy asked.

"i fell. what are you here for? i don't remember you getting hurt," the old man's eyebrows furrowed.

"my heart doesn't beat fast enough and now it's beating slower, see?" he pointed to the respirator.

"hm." nihil hummed. he didn't remember copia having heart problems. he didn't pay much attention to him anyway.

"copia," he sighed. "i'm sorry for being so.. negligent towards you and your brothers"

the young boy was too tired to correct him.

"i hope you'll.. accept me as your father again.. even though seestor and i are divorced and separated, no matter what she says i can't deny that you have the emeritus eye," he sighed softly.

"i've never had a dad," the little boy looked over to nihil. "you can be my dad if you want"

nihil smiled a soft smile, his already deep smile lines becoming more prominent. after a while the boy had fallen asleep, but nihil was still restless with guilt. not realizing the boy was sleeping, nihil began to talk.

"do you remember when you got that tricycle for christmas? i remember you kept.. crashing it into walls. it was annoying, but i also remember when you let your fratellone ride it.. he fell really bad and scraped his knee and you were right there for him.. id never admit it before, but i was proud of you." nihil sighed. "and when i told you that you weren't worthy of second most employee of the month awards.. i was just.. being an old man. those awards were well deserved. you're a good cardinal, copia. i hope that if you ever become papa you get good praise. you deserve it."

when the boy didn't respond, nihil went to sleep. around the middle of the night, a loud beeping began and doctors flooded the room. nihil woke up to the loud sounds and watched as 'copia' flatlines and was wheeled away.

"no.. copia you.. you can't die.. i only just got you back.." nihil wheezed, exhaustedly reaching out for the boy before falling back to sleep.

when he woke up his memory was back to normal and the real copia was there with imperator.

"ah, you're awake."

"copia? but you-" he rubbed his eyes.

"you're getting out today," copia said in a monotone voice.

"yeah yeah, okay cardinal," nihil fell back into his general dislike of copia.

things never changed.

eventually nihil died and copia ascended and nothing ever came of the young boy that for just a moment fixed nihil.

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SORRY ITS SHIT LOL