𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐀𝐆, rodrick heffley

12. catastrophic blues

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜
chapter twelve: catastrophic blues

[a/n]: catastrophic is one way to describe this chapter!! anyway...um...enjoy...!
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━━━ AFTER SINCE THE DISASTROUS STUNT Rodrick had pulled with Greg's diary back at the retirement home, Greg's been seething, steam practically whistling from his ears like a Hogwarts train. But today, all will be well, because he's finally found a way to exact his revenge.

Truly, it's something he should have taken notice of much sooner, but it wasn't until he began to recount the details in his head that he realized what was really in front of him this whole time. The secret to Rodrick Heffley's downfall was in his palms.

The secret glances between Rodrick and Haley are unmistakable to those who look close enough. It's obvious they've got something between them. But from the way his mom talks about Haley, it's also obvious she's got no idea.

The thing is, Rodrick has been able to afford a suspicious amount of new band equipment the past few weeks, and since he is a lazy bum and has no job, the only income he has is Mom Bucks. The last piece of the jigsaw puzzle was figuring out how Rodrick's been getting these Mom Bucks.

And then everything slid into place.

"Rodrick?" Mrs. Heffley's voice calls out as it draws nearer to Rodrick's bedroom door. Two sets of footsteps are audible outside of the room. "Rodrick!"

"What?" Rodrick shouts back from his place perched on his bed.

The door clicks open, and Mrs. Heffley walks in with her arms crossed. She doesn't exactly look furious, but rather confused, and possibly debating whether or not she should be angry. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating Haley Buxbaum?"

"What?" Rodrick parrots his sentiment from earlier, his eyes hardening when he sees his brother's figure come into his room after his mom. "Where'd you hear that from?"

"Funny you should ask that," Greg chimes in with a giddy and smug grin on his face. It's clear that this is all a part of his master plan.

"It doesn't matter where I heard it from," Mrs. Heffley insists. "Why'd you act like you hated her all this time if you were really dating her? It just doesn't make sense why you'd hide that from me. You know I've been encouraging this all along."

"I--"

"See, that's the thing, Mom," Greg says slowly, turning his head and making knowing eye contact with his older brother, as if providing him with a warning, "doesn't it make sense that he wouldn't tell you? I mean, you were paying him Mom Bucks, right? If you knew they were willingly hanging out -- dating even -- you would have stopped paying him. And Rodrick doesn't want that."

Mrs. Heffley gasps, as if this kind of ethical dilemma was the worst possible outcome of this situation. "Rodrick, is this true? Were you counting on me to pay you to hang out with...your girlfriend? Like she's a job?" Mrs. Heffley spits this like she's insulted on Haley's behalf.

"Well, no, not really. She was only my girlfriend because I was getting paid," Rodrick says. His words don't have as much substance and gusto as they used to. After all, he can't tell whether or not they're still true, not after last Friday night. "I wouldn't have dated her if I wasn't getting Mom Bucks!"