This Love

9. Beautiful things

~AVA~

JC was at the door. Her door.

A flood of panic fueled adrenaline swept through Ava's body.

Was he here to finish what he started? Her chest constricted, squeezing the air from her lungs.

"Wait, Ava, please." JC said suddenly, and that was when Ava realized she was swinging the door shut in his face.

"You shouldn't be here." She whispered, fighting the panicky feeling that clawed at the back of her throat. "Not after..."

"I know." JC's eyes were shiny, like he was holding back tears, like he was genuinely apologetic.

Ava shook her head. This couldn't be real, it had to be a trick. "I have nothing to say to you." She forced out, her voice cold, pulling the door the rest of the way and clicking the lock.

She could breathe again.

What the fuck was that?

"Ava, please, I... I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that." JC called through the door. "I was an asshole. I deserved everything, and more, for what I did."

Ava stared at the door handle, torn. Could she trust him?

"I don't expect anything... I just needed to tell you that so I can move on."

Ava's stomach twisted in an anger so potent, the panic was quickly overwhelmed. "Move on...?" She wrenched open the door. "So you can move on!?" Ava shouted right in his face. "You're not the victim here JC! Do you fucking know what you've done to me?"

To her ex-boyfriend's credit, he just stood there and took it, expression ashamed.

Ava was breathing hard with fury and glaring at JC. She realized she wanted him to fight back, she wanted to shout and scream and rage; she wanted to get out all her frustration.

"I fucked up something, I ruined it completely because of what happened between us."

"I'm sorry..." JC whispered.

Ava snorted, whirling away from him and storming into the apartment. She left the door open but didn't want to admit to herself how much she wanted JC to follow.

He didn't.

Pacing the length of her living room, Ava glanced down the stairwell every time she passed it. JC was still standing on the porch fiddling with the edge of his jacket, like he was waiting for something, whether that be an invitation or the demand that he leaves.

"Why are you still here?" She snapped suddenly, pausing mid stride.

He seemed so small as he looked up at her. "I can't leave until I know you're okay."

It was said so earnestly, but it did nothing but flare up Ava's anger. "Well, I'm not okay! I fucked up the only thing in my life that was worth anything. And all because I'm a fucking coward!"

JC winced. "Ava..."

She ignored him, running her hands over her face roughly. "I'm so stupid..."

"You're not stupid..."

Ava looked up at JC's words, a bolt of déjà vu from when Beatrice had whispered those exact words to her almost had her doubling over in horror.

"You're not pathetic, or a coward, or overreacting... I think you're brilliant."

She could still feel the featherlight touch of Beatrice's lips on her own. The first kiss of many the first night they'd spent together.

It was like someone pulled the plug on her fury, all of it suddenly draining away, and Ava was left with nothing but a sharp pain in her chest. She stumbled back down the stairs and into JC's arms. Surprised, he hesitated for a fraction of a second before engulfing her in a hug. It all felt so familiar, so safe, that it pushed Ava over the edge, and she started to cry.