raison d'être (a reason for existing)

{25} Will You Have Me?

The feast in the Great Hall was in full swing, but I found my mind elsewhere. Throughout the meal I pick at my food, only half-hearing the conversations around me. My thoughts remained skyward, recalling each breathless moment aboard Lyrax.

When I can't bear the noise and company any longer, I ease back from the table. "If you'll excuse me, I find I've lost my appetite." None tried to detain me as I slipped from the hall. My footsteps carry me instinctively to the one place where I find solace- the castle library. Tall shelves overflow with aged tomes chronicling the history of Westeros and beyond. I breath deep the scent of old parchment, feeling some of the day's tension ease. Wandering deeper amid the stacks, my eyes scan the names until one catches my interest.

Settling into a window seat, I draw the book into my lap and begin to read of past Dragonriders and their mounts. Talks of heroes from centuries past fill my mind with daring deeds. For a time, I'm lost in another world, surrounded only by flickering torchlight and imaginary skies. A sound rouses me from my reading- the creak of hinges from the entrance. Quickly as I mark my page, curiosity piques as booted steps draw nearer. Around the bookshelf strides a familiar figure, one I haven't expected to find admits dusty volumes.

The candle dwindles and I mark my page before putting it back on the shelf where I found it. I arrive at my chambers, tired yet restless after another long day. Every day feels long now after being able to fly again. My skin itches for Aemondto bring me on another ride but I don't ask, it seems...pathetic of a Targaryen to beg someone else for them to ride their own dragon. All I wish is a hot bath and early sleep, however, upon the bed lay a most curious sight- a bundle of stained linen wrappings. Intrigued, I lift the note atop.

 'Come find me' -Aemond

A thrill goes through me at the thought of such adventure with Aemond. Hurriedly, I dress myself in the commoner's clothes, tucking my telltale locks under a cap. Thus altered enough, I slip from my room and make my way down secret corridors until I happen upon the stables. There I find Aemond readying a mount, attired similarly in plainspun. I just hope that he doesn't notice the upturned ground. "You came," he remarks, a glint of amusement in his eye. Helping me into the saddle, we set out from the castle under cover of dusk.

The streets of Flea Bottom teem with life even at such an hour. Merchants call their wares while children play in the alleys. No one spares us a second glance for the pair upon our stead. As we dismount as a bustling tavern, I feel a thrill at such disguise.

Within, the pub roars with drunken song and chatter. Aemond procures us ale, pressing a flaggon into my hands. I take a tentative sip, brows knitting at the bitter taste. Aemond chuckles at my reaction, finishing his before tossing coins on the scarred wood. "Come, there's more to see."

His hand finds mine as we slip back into the night. Now the streets fill me with curiosity rather than fear.

The bustling sounds of the city fade behind me as we make our way back through the deserted streets under a glittering night sky. Our earlier revelry had given way to a more pensive mood as the castle gradually draws nearer. We slip back through secret corridors and happen upon our bed chamber, stripping off the commoner clothes and shoving them way back in our separate drawers.

But I can't get the ties on one of the sets of clothes and as much as I don't want to, I ask Aemond for help. He's already in his bed clothes as he begins to carefully unlace the clothing, not wanting to touch me anywhere I haven't permitted. The tension between us is palpable as I look at his face.

When he's done, he goes to turn away but I quickly grab his wrist. He turns around, looking at my grip and then my face. "Aemond." I say and I realize I don't think I've ever said his name like that before. I've never said it with such care. I don't have to say anything else as he brings his mouth to mine.

One of his hands goes to my face while the other wraps around the back of my head to crush my lips closer to his own. I feel his other hand curl around the side of my face, his thumb tracing the corner of my lips. I moan into his mouth. Being touched like this, being wanted by a person who I thought has hated me this whole time, is the most heightened emotion I've ever felt.

Aemond claims me with as much fire as I feel burning in my blood and I push myself against his chest, pushing us both back against the bed, feeling Aemond fall upon it and I climb on top of him, his hands going to my waist.

His lips are the closest things to heaven that I've ever tasted. Kissing him is betraying my family, I know that, but I don't care. I'd gladly put myself back in it. His tongue snakes into my mouth and laves over mine while desire begins to pool low in my belly. His arm snakes around my waist and presses me more firmly against him as he runs his tongue along my bottom lip.

I lift my face to the ceiling so I can take a much needed breath but that doesn't stop Aemond. He begins to run his teeth along my jawline, trailing kisses down my neck. His teeth sink down on my clavicle and I arch into him, running my own fingers through his hair.

Bringing my face down again, I catch the hungriness, the gleam in his eye before I crush my mouth onto his once again. I begin to rock against him, back and forth, which makes him moan deep in his throat and his hands tighten on my waist, surely going to leave bruises the next morning to few days. He sits us up before he's encouraging me and I grind myself against him, feeling him growing hard underneath his trousers.

  "I want you, Maella." Gods, he says my name like I'm the only thing keeping him alive. His mouth moves down to my shoulder, peppering kisses there before he utters more. "I want you so much, I can scarcely breathe." That certainly makes two of us. He grabs a fistful of my hair, gently pulling it back so I'm looking at him, breaking our lips contact. "Will you have me?"

I only answering him after connecting our lips once more. "Yes," I say, putting both my hands on his face. It's only when breaking from him that I hear our chests heaving. "Yes, I'll have you."