A Place in This World - Taylor Swift x Fem OC

Chapter 10

⋆˚ఎ ☆ ໒˚⋆ 

Taylor and Andrea come to visit her three times a week now.

They play board games and Taylor tells her about school, and sometimes, it feels like this girl isn't her ex. It's her friend, but then she'll attempt to hold Arina's hand or help her up from her seat since she can barely do it herself anymore, and they're right back where they started.

But for the most part, it's nice having company.

She introduces them to Henry and Kaylee, and sometimes Andrea offers them a turn in the games, but other than that, it's just them and Nurse Becky.

Andrea brings her books and clothes. Taylor brings her a cassette player and a new tape once a week. They're gifts she cherishes, but it still feels a bit awkward every time her ex hands her the items with a hesitant smile. They barely speak anymore, but Arina would be lying if she says it doesn't make her feel better that Taylor truly wants to be here to support her.

Maybe she's sick.

The thought first pops her bubble of delusion when she's in group therapy. She's sitting next to Kaylee as Henry colors in the corner of the room, and when she leans over to whisper a joke about Doctor Know It All's haircut, his eyes playfully narrow at her.

"You seem a bit talkative today Arina. Would you like to share?" She's like a deer caught in headlights, staring at him with wide eyes. She goes to shake her head no, but everyone is staring at her, and it's like she's right back in school, giving a presentation to a bunch of students that would probably make fun of her if she wasn't pretty.

So she clears her throat, folding one of her legs over the other and folding her hands neatly on her lap. He'd been asking everyone to share one thing they struggled with this week. Maybe it's to make others feel like they're not alone. Maybe it's so he can dig deeper into a bunch of teenagers' emotions. Hm.

"My friend Tim...he brought some corn dogs for me the last time he visited because his team made too many for an event they were doing." Doctor Know It All hums in understanding, smiling reassuringly. She wants to punch every person and make them stop looking at her with those eyes, sympathy and sadness, but she remembers the time she playfully punched Tim and sprained her thumb. "And I ate one. Then I puked. Then he told me he was sorry and he didn't mean to make me upset. But he wasn't the issue. The problem was me."

A few kids nod in agreement but don't say anything else, and the doctor gives her eyes as if asking if she's done before thanking her for sharing and continuing on with the session.

She remembers the look on Tim's face as she sobbed, telling him she was sick and she didn't think anyone could cure her. He looked almost mad, but she could tell it wasn't directed towards her.

She remembers her mama's words when they came to visit her a few days ago, something they've been doing a lot more recently; "Soon you'll get better." She seemed almost certain of it, and all Arina could think about was that all her life, all she's ever done was to prove to them they made the right choice adopting her. Are they doubting it now? Are they wishing they never did? Maybe she should've just hidden it better.

She remembers Taylor's sigh when a nurse had told her it was dinner time and that Arina hadn't eaten in days and had to or she would get her nose tube put back in. It was a sigh of disappointment, and though it wasn't intended that way, and it only made the poet feel worse.

Maybe she's sick.

And because of this, she's only causing pain.

So she needs to get better.