Signs

Richard

I would call this a pilot but I will continue this even if I do not get any reads at all (which I won't) because I got this idea randomly and I just have to write it down

(Originally it wasn't even supposed to be Hamilton and Laurens but since I am such a big american revolution enthusiast, this will have to do. And it's more fun to read and write stories about people you like)

TW: mentions of suicide, self-hatred

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"I should have seen the signs..."

John snarled at himself, putting a hand over his forehead.

Alexander watched in silence as John blamed himself for their best friend Richard's suicide attempt.

"John, it's not your fault..."

Alexander tried. He didn't actually want to speak about the subject of suicide, but he wanted to reassure John.

John stared blankly at Alexander for some moments before sighing deeply.

"Alex..."

He got up from his bed where he had been sitting for the past two hours. He walked over to Alexander and put both of his hands on his shoulders.

"Never, and I repeat, never leave me... Please, if you ever feel like that, talk to me. I can't lose you like I did Richie."

John stared intently into Alexander's eyes, it made him feel a bit uncomfortable.

But he nodded. "Of course, I... I promise, John." Alexander mumbled.

John sighed again as he took a step back from Alexander, letting his arms fall to his side.

Alexander looked down at the floor. Darn it, how he missed Richard. He knew that he had told John not to blame himself, yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. Alexander was experienced, having had two family members commit suicide! Surely, he should've seen the signs, right? Alexander thought so. If only he wasn't so useless, he could have spared John from blaming himself... And Richard from-

"Alex?"

Alexander's head snapped up when he heard John's voice.

"Ah, yes?"

Alexander pressed his lips together, puffing his cheeks just so slightly.

John gave him a gentle but sad smile.

"Do you think Richard would have preferred white roses over red ones?"

Alexander smiled back, a weak smile.

"Yeah... Yeah, I do."