Celebrating Values

Gratitude & Grief

Perhaps the secret to happiness is to maintain an attitude of gratitude. While no one's life is free from struggles, grateful people are mindful and thankful for the good things in life. They recognize that there is always something to be thankful for. Being grateful requires awareness and effort. But research shows that this effort leads to better mental health.

Sometimes life's greatest blessings are the small things that are often overlooked: the beauty of nature, a kind word or friendly smile, the comfort of a soft bed at the end of the day.

Sometimes life's greatest blessings are the goals we work hard to attain:  building a strong marriage, raising children, using our talents to meet the needs of our community through our careers.

And sometimes our greatest blessings come out of adversity: appreciating life more after surviving an accident or disease, or becoming stronger and more compassionate after going through a challenging experience.

I Thessalonians 5:18 says to "Give thanks in all circumstances." It is easier to be thankful during seasons of plenty than during seasons of hardship. But God is with us in all seasons and "works all things for good for those who love Him" (Romans 8:28)

This past year I went through a life coaching program that focused on a different theme each week. One of the first topics was gratitude and I think it was this early focus on gratitude that helped me get through the more difficult issues that came next. When we recognize and celebrate the positives in our lives, it gives us the hope and comfort we need to get through the negatives. I was already listing things I was thankful for in my journal regularly. But a new practice was to wake up in the morning and already anticipate something you were looking forward to with gratitude that day. 

However, gratitude does not erase the pain of losses and disappointments. It is important to also work through one's grief. We often define grief as the loss of a loved one. But grief comes in many shapes and sizes. Grief could be caused by leaving a job or a community that was a big part of your life for many years. It could be caused by coming to terms with a chronic disease or disability that changes your life forever. A person feels grief when a relationship that was important to them ends. We can even grieve a relationship or dream that never developed into what we hoped it would. 

Grief is proof that you cared deeply about someone or something. It is love that has been displaced. There is no timeline for the grieving process. But in order to heal from grief, people must acknowledge it and accept it both emotionally and mentally.  Otherwise the wounds of anger, resentment, or depression continue to fester or even build. 

*Is it easier for you to focus on the negatives or positives in your life?

*Name at least 7 things that you are thankful for right now.

*Name at least one loss that you are still grieving.