"Trynna act cool, are we now?"
Kim turned his head suprised, he didn't notice anyone coming due to his thought filled head
"Chay." Kim said before he fully turned back, he would know that voice no matter where he is.
"Phi'Kim." Chay said back, smiling.
Kim wanted to smile back, Rather one would also say he was dying to close the distance between them and just hug him forever and never leave him once he did so, but something inside him wondered why chay was smiling at him, was this a goodbye and did chay already move on... with Macau?
He had seen Chay, Looking as stunning as ever, all dressed up for the celebration and he was standing with Macau and talking with all smiles which Kim had never seen being flashed for him again.
"How are you, Is everything going good?" Kim asked breaking the silence.
"Hmm" chay said nodding, the smile Chay had on wasn't there anymore.
"Ok then, I'll take my leave" Kimhan said as he walked away giving up all his damned hope but then he felt a nudge on his hands, He looked down at it and saw Chay tugging onto his sleeves
"Now that I am giving you a chance to talk you're walking away?" Chay asked Kim making Kim suprised ‘he wants to talk to me?’ Kim thought.
"I mean that's what you always do, Leaving has always been your forte, Haven't it?" Kim's heart tugged, he didn't care anymore...He didn't care about his profile and his pride which he hadn't need to add as it had left long back, all due to Chay
"Maybe it was." Kim answered and Chay sighed 'right...what was I thinking' chay thought and he turned back and decided to leave but Kim continued speaking "But leaving you was the worst and most painful decision in my entire life" Chay halted on his way,
"I didn't have a choice Chay....more like I didn't put out any other choices, because when it comes to you my mind never works properly" Kim was still facing Chay's back and he wondered what expression Chay might be making right now, would he walk away...again? Like he himself did...his heart throbbed.
Chay on the other hand was breathing hard, he had a hard time figuring out what Kim was trying to say because he didn't want to mix up Kim's words again, but he didn't seem to have any anger left for Kimhan, or was there any in the first place? He turned back and had stopped breathing for a second after he saw Kim's face, It looked....almost desperate? The locks of Chay's feelings broke open seeing his face and now he didn't want to hold back as well, so chay continued off Kim's words "Phi Kim, I seriously hate how much I could love you...I hate how I would let you hurt me just for you to love me...but, That's something that would never happen and that's why we could never go back to what we were. You don't understand how hard I've tried again and again to not give a heck about you but whether it's about how much I hate you or how much I love you...I always end up thinking about you, and now when I'm trying to stay away...trying to not think of you anymore and get reminded of the pain you have given me...this is how you decide to act." Chay spoke up
"It's not like that..." Kim started
"So tell me how it is actually like, tell me the truth!" Chay interrupted as he bid to Kim.
"Chay, my life....it's never been like yours. I hate my life. Killing,Mafia... everything. I've never wanted to be a part of any of that, that's why I became Wik. But, Then I met you; and everything just fell, everything I've builded up just broke down...because of you. For you I could kill people, I would give away every part and breath of mine just to see your smile at the end of mine and I wouldn't even care if I just died for that. So, Keeping you away was the way to safety for me ."
Chay was silent "If you want to keep me away...why are you telling me all this, why are closing the distance I'm trying to put up. what are you trying to achieve?" He managed to speak
"I'm telling you this because I can't anymore,I can't stay away from you and watch you from afar without having you smile at me, Without being able to touch you. I don't know where my strength is anymore. And...I am selfish." Kim looked down
"What do you-" Chay interrupted again and Kim stopped him by speaking, looking right at his eyes,
"I kill people, chay....for my needs ..and they try to kill me for theirs and if I make you a part of me, Which I did unable to help myself, then safety won't be a path you'd be travelling upon. I love you...I fuckin love you, Chay. I shouldn't but I do. And my love would do nothing but dull your bright life." He continued "Loving you wasn't a choice I made Chay, it was a need. Before meeting you I was breathing, Not having any need for living...but I did ..I kept on living and now i think, all those dark days and night, it was for you. Now I'm not just breathing, I'm living through the light you've shone upon me" Chay was stunned, It was like he got struck by something hard, those were the words chay wished he heard and he dreamt of hearing so much times and now there was Phi'Kim looking at time and telling him that he loves him.
"You know Wik. The one you fell in love with. A singer. A famous idol with nothing but fake smiles and a forged life given to please the satisfaction of hundreds of his fan. This is me. This is how My life have always been And the consequences of being a part of me." Kim said his eyes filled with emotions he wouldn't be able to describe
"No." Chay finally spoke and Kim was startled...he didn't understand what chay meant...was that his answer to the confession?
"You're wrong phi, I knew Wik, I agree...but that's not who I fell for...If that was who I fell for, when I knew That you were P'Kinn's brother I would've never came to see you. I don't know what exactly I fell in love about you. At first I was a fan but then I was a man in love, Everytime I touched your hand...everytime I felt you near me...I knew that wasn't how a fan would feel, I had more people I was a fan of, but you...the way I felt for you was different. I fell in love with you through music phi, through the way you taught me... through the way you communicated with it to me, Even if eyes can lie...music can't, I believed I saw the same in your eyes and decided to trust you. Since the very beginning I've been in love with YOU phi, not Wik. I LOVE wik BECAUSE its you." Kimhan didn't waste any minute and hugged Chay like ever, Chay paused but he didn't hug back, he hadn't processed everything that was happening yet.
Kim slowly went back, just centimetres away from Chay's face, "I promise you, every single second,minute and hour I spend with you was an unknown you opened within me....and all those emotions you've seen in me if u saw that is, was Every bit of truthfulness of my love for you.
I love you.
I.love.you.Porchay.Kittisiwad
If You accept this me, I will love you forever and keep you safe within my life and if you don't, I still will. But I won't ever appear before you. I promise." Kim spoke. The silence was so loud that he could hear the way both of them were breathing...Kimhan waited for Chay's answer...He didn't know how his patience that once stood for a long time didn't exist anymore, or was it only with chay?
"Phi Kim?" Chay asked slightly loud enough for Kim to hear,
"Yeah?" Kim asked back
"I....I'm hungry."
Kim was Dumbfounded by Chay's response but he started laughing, he knew what chay meant and he hugged chay again, this time Chay hugged him back .
Hellooi, See you guys next week hehe. Hope this chapter is good and that y'all like it❤️. Have a great week ahead‼️
