Begin Again 2: RESET || Nate Maloley

{ seventeen }

O L I V I A

My eyes remained wide as I stared silently into his. I haven't seen him for over two weeks in fear I never would again, and now he wants to leave me here as I try and reset my entire life. I understood half of where he was coming from, but the other half had me confused. His emotions have been all over the place since we started this trip and now they are even more scattered.

"Why do you always run," I ask.

"Running is all I know," he shrugged. I smelled the stench of rum on his breath as he deeply exhaled.

"Maybe we should talk when you have a clear head," I suggested.

"My head is clear, Liv. I know how I really feel when I'm drunk; when I'm lifted. It's all the shit that I keep hidden while sober. I know how much you have ahead of you and I'm holdin' you back. I love you too much to fuck it all up for you."

"I don't understand why that's your decision. If I say I can handle my future with you in it then goddammit, I can. Don't do this, baby. Please..."

Based on how many times he gulps, I can tell he's trying to come off as tough but he doesn't fool me. He leans down and kisses my forehead as soon as the guys come downstairs.

"Did you really steal a 6-pack bro," Mike laughed as he asked Kev. Kev shrugged, proudly toting the case of Samuel Adams beer. "Yo Nate, do you want me to...pick you up later or something? We're gonna hit up iHop."

"Nah, I'll go." Nate took my hand and kissed it. "I'll see you around." His voice shook a bit and he probably thought I didn't realize. But it was nothing compared to the rivers silently running down my cheeks.

I didn't bother say anything. I let him let me go, then he headed toward the car. Swazz walked past him toward me and hugged me tight.

"You didn't hear this from me," he spoke quietly. "But Nate still works at the plant nursery if you ever need to see him. And he lives above a car garage: Peyton Auto Repairs, you know where that is?"

I nodded against his chest.

"Alright." He kissed the top of my head. "Everything will be okay. He loves you too fuckin' much, Liv. This isn't the end."

When he pulled away, he wiped a tear off the bottom of my chin and faintly smiled before joining the others. Even with his much-needed kind words, I still felt a hole form in my chest. It was already torture being away from Nate this long.

. . .

N A T E

Emotionally, I was exhausted. It's been 4 days since I've seen or heard...or felt Olivia. And since I now know where she lives, it's been making this much harder. I've had to stop myself numerous times from going over there. There would always be those urges for one more kiss or to just make her laugh one more time.

At work, I kept to myself a lot; letting Jimmy and the new kid handle the customers. I mainly focused on the displays.

"Back again, I see." I leaned down and let the fuzzy caterpillar inch onto my hand. Last time this happened, Liv just so happened to be here, watching me. But when I turned around, that wasn't the case this time.

I knew what I did was for good reason. It wasn't because I stopped loving her. But she's finally starting over, out of the possible watchful eye of Evan. I purposely came back to my old job so I could lure him out. I needed this to be over with. And if he wanted to find me and track me again, it wouldn't be hard if he tried; even if I'm not living at the house anymore.

"Nice Bulls jersey," a woman's voice said behind me. I looked back to see a brunette with a contagious smile. So I smiled back at her and stood up after freeing the caterpillar.