Shaniece Pov
It's been a week since the incident happened, I haven't left my room since.
My brother tried to get me out, but it didn't work.
It's my fault. Is the only thing that keeps repeating in my head.
As the tears just fell from my eyes, I bite down on my lips hard to stop myself from screaming.
"Moommmmmy," I mourned.
Curling up in a ball on my bed, I could only just cry.
After rushawn came back from the hospital and gave the news, it hit me like a wrecking ball. My world came crashing down.
When everything started to be like this, I know that all happy times must come to an end, but this too sudden.
As the words just went over and over in my head, I couldn't help but cry out in pain.
As my door swings open, rushawn runs to my side and lifts me into his arms and sits on my bed while he patted my back.
I curled up into his hands and just let out a sorrowful scream.
"Moooooommmmyyyyy!!!" I weep.
As he kissed my head, he reassured me that she would open her eyes anytime soon.
"How!?.......shi.....shi....deh pon life support machine......shi a fight rushawn.......rushaaaaaawn!!!....mi wah shi get up now....get," as I weep in pain, my brother tried to comfort me.
"Look pon di bright side Shaniece, shi a fight, mommy a warrior eno, so mek we help har fight, stay strong sis, shi ago get up," he said in the most comforting tone.
As he rocked back and forth with me in his arms as I sobbed uncontrollably.
"But -" I tried to talk.
"Shhhh," he shut me up and just rubbed my back as I lay on his chest, closing my eyes.
"...yah guh skl tmr?" He asked.
I shake my head no.
"Shan," he takes a deep breath, "a yuh last year, please gwaan a school an mek mommy proud so wen shi get up shi nuu affeh a hog n pull yuh," he finishes saying.
And I laughed a little.
He places me back on the bed and covers me with my blanket, and turn the fan on, "wah summo feh eat?" He asked.
I shake my head no.
"Yuh nuh eat from week eno shan, mi ago look bout summo feh yuh get." He said before leaving the room.
I don't feel hungry, I don't even feel anything at this moment, I'm in my own world where everything once use to be sunny and bright now becomes dark and can't see anything or anyone, it feels like I'm floating, I'm here physically but mentally I'm not sure.
I feel like a zombie, where I just keep moving cause I have to.
Every time I try smiling, it is not the same. You can see the hurt in my eyes. It's all over my face, I don't want anyone to show me pity, I don't want anyone to ask if I'm okay because truth be told, I'm not, my throat aches from the things I want to say and cannot say, my head becomes bigger and heavy as it feel like my eye is popping out my head.
Dem say God gi him strongest soilder some battle, but I'm not strong I'm weak.
You are strong. you're still here holding on.
I don't think so.
I can't even breath, it feels like I'm suffocating day by day.
Is this reality?
