𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝟏𝟖+

27. hot

POPPY ELLISON

✥

Last night was the first time I've slept without having a nightmare for as long as I can remember. The pillows felt like clouds throughout my sleep and the mattress... oh my goodness, the mattress was like a damn marshmallow.

I wriggle slightly in my sleep to find that my body is completely weighed down by two arms wrapped around my stomach. My eyes force themselves open and I glance down. I still for a second and I tell myself not to move suddenly because I am not in the comfort of my own bed. Not that I can call it a comfort after the best sleep of my entire life.

My eyesight adjusts to the tan arms that are clamped around me tightly, the tattoos resting against his forearms. I admire them, for the first time since I've known Gabriel, I truly admire them.

I resist the urge to run my fingertips along the ink because I don't want to wake him, not when I'm shamefully enjoying this far too much. I know we didn't fall asleep touching and now my body is moulded into his as if we've been in a relationship for the last five years.

How on earth did we get into this position?

A part of me doesn't care, doesn't even want an explanation. I'm just here, enjoying a cuddle from a man like any other normal woman in this society. A smile creeps up on my face because I cannot hide my pleasure from this moment.

I haven't wanted to cuddle a single man that Rexx has forced me to go after—Gabriel is an anomaly in all of this. But this... this is truly something. I haven't felt this damn human in so long. I never want it to end, selfishly.

My hips shuffle back slowly until my eyes widen at what I find pressing against the curve of my ass.

Two words. He's hard.

And hell, it feels big. I move back a tiny bit, hoping that he doesn't wake up otherwise I'll have to pretend that I'm still asleep. The ridges of his cock press into my skin beneath the fabric of his clothes and my cheeks begin to flush, heat rushing over every patch of my body.

I chew on my lip and stare at the wall. Oh God. I want to push back on his erection so badly, I want to grind on him and thank him for every kind thing that he's ever done in my favour. He is a man that deserves the world and I'm here to ruin all of that for things outside of my control.

After a few moments I decide to twist in his hold and try my hardest not to wake him from his sleep. I just want to watch him—a little. Nothing creepy. I want to admire his handsome face and look at him as he breathes softly.

For a second I forget that I'm in his bedroom, his bed. It makes my stomach flip and my head turns all giddy at the thought. I have no idea who I think I am with these immature feelings but it feels good and I'm basking in it.

I rotate as slowly as possible as his arms loosen around me. I sink down against his shoulder as my eyes focus on his breathtaking face. Those eyes are still closed and I exhale a silent breath of relief.

Then I admire him. A smile that feels like it's going to be forever permanent. I've never smiled so much as I have when I'm around him. He gives me a reason to live, a reason to breathe.

Hopefully at one point I can get him to understand that I had to do what I had to do. Maybe, just maybe, he'll believe me before he gets the chance to kill me. I might as well enjoy him before I lose everything. I already know I will, no matter how this ends. Because in an alternate universe, he would be a man I'd love to get to know, to be with. But in this story—I already know I don't get my happy ever after because I will never deserve someone like him.