𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝟏𝟖+

37. need

POPPY ELLISON

✥

"I'm fine," I whimper as Zane and Gabriel help me down into one of Zane's plush chairs in his office. Inside I'm still trembling from the information I was fed ten minutes ago. I've been too busy throwing my guts up to actually try and digest the conversation. "Honestly, I'm fine."

Gabriel and Zane share a glance that tells me they know better but in fact they don't, they know nothing at all. I watch as Zane raises his hand and presses the backs of his fingers to my forehead. "You're burning up, Poppy."

"I'm just hot from dancing," I say quietly. "Not enough water, I promise."

"Red, you were sobbing."

Oh God. I forgot about the tears that stained my cheeks whilst I was projectile vomiting into the bowl. Fuck. Pressure grows behind my eyes at the thought. Gabriel might be soft with me but he could kill me with a snap of his fingers if he wanted to–he's grown up in an environment that is kill or be killed.

My pulse thrashes in my neck. Sweat dripping down my back endlessly.

Zane drops his hand from my face and sighs, standing up to retrieve some water which I am deeply grateful for. My mouth feels like sandpaper and when I take down the liquid I close my eyes at the blissful feeling.

When I open my eyes I focus on Gabriel and my entire stomach churns. He's staring back at me with such deep concern that the guilt is making me nauseous all over again but I'm certain there isn't anything left for me to throw up, I barely ate today as it is.

"Take the night off," Zane says as he perches on the opposite chair, pressing his forearms into his knees. Gabriel nods from where he's crouched down beside me. "Go home and rest. I don't want you passing out on the podium."

"I'm fine," I murmur.

Gabriel's nostrils flare. "If you say that one more time, Red."

His voice tells me that he's not playing so I say nothing more. It hurts to look at him and I don't know how I'm going to tell him. My fingers begin trembling and I feel a pair of hands cup over mine gently.

"Let me take you home," his brown eyes soften.

I glance over at the desk where he was working. "Don't you need to–"

"Don't fight me right now, Poppy," he says, shoulders sagging forward. "You are in no fit state to be here. Let's go home."

I flick my eyes between his slowly as he gives my hands a squeeze. I fucking wish I'd stop shaking like a leaf. "Home?"

"My home," he whispers. "I'm not leaving you tonight."

My head merely nods. A weight like a boulder sinks in my stomach. I was seconds away from telling him. Fucking seconds. I can't keep doing this, I can't keep this up. Tears lay in my lashline and fall before I even blink.

I'm a fucking mess.

Gabriel inhales a sharp breath and runs his thumb across my cheekbone, catching my tears as they fall. "Let's go," he whispers, then turns to look at Zane who nods.

"Take her," Zane responds. "Don't worry about the work, I can finish it later or tomorrow."

Gabriel stands up and helps me onto shaky legs. "Thanks, man. I owe you."

"Na," he shakes his head but my entire vision is blurry from these pathetic tears. "Take your girl home and look after her. She's been working herself too hard lately and it shows. Get some rest, Poppy. We both know you need it."