The Other Side of Our Hearts

And What I Know Frightens Me

"Hey, Haitham?"

Kaveh never felt more nervous in that moment compared to anything else in his entire life. Days of psyching himself up and talking about it over and over with Tighnari did nothing to calm the anxiety in his stomach. No one ever bothered to write a proper text on how to ask your roommate, who you are sort of friends with despite having a big fall out years prior, if they want to go on a date or start a relationship or whatever it should be.

"C-can I talk to you?"

He was standing at the other side of the divan where Alhaitham was sprawled out, book in hand that slowly lowered from his face. The man was too handsome for Kaveh to handle and on top of that a good person deep down. Otherwise he wouldn't have taken the architect into his home and allowed him to stay for the past 3 years. Even if they bickered constantly and couldn't agree on viewpoints, they still had an air of respect for each other.

Though in Kaveh's case, it was not only a respect and a love he carried for so long since they first met in the Akademiya. It made him believe love at first sight was real. Their fight that broke them apart made him fear he lost his chance of ever having that love fulfilled, but they found each other again after years. If asked why he waited so long to choose to confess, he was simply afraid. They were still mending as friends, and the last thing he wanted was to reveal his feelings and wreck the progress already made. But he was at a point where not only could he not wait any longer, but it felt just comfortable enough to try at the very least.

"What's on your mind?"  Alhaitham gestured toward Kaveh to sit down beside him as he moved his legs out of the way. "You sound nervous."

"I am . . .this is hard." Kaveh took the space offered and grabbed a cushion to hug into himself. "But there's been something on my mind for a while and . . .I can't not go further with keeping quiet about it . . .but if I say it . . .you might kick me out."

"Hmm." The scribe bookmarked the page he was on before closing the novel and setting it aside. "Why would you think it might make me kick you out if I've let you stay for three years?"

"I don't know, it's just . . .I'm not sure what you'll think . . ." A deep breath in and out came from the architect. He started at the details of the embroidery of the cushion before lifting his face to face the other. "But . . .I . . .I like you more than a friend. A lot more actually . . ."

The silence that fell upon the room felt incredibly heavy. The two men simply looked at each other with various degree of bewilderment. Kaveh could swear his heart was racing so quickly and so loudly that he was surprised the vibration of each beat didn't shake the books off of the shelves nearby. He watched Alhaitham stare at him for another couple of moments, then glancing around the room. 

"This is sudden . . ." The scribe found himself sitting up from his lounging position into one with his form hunched over, hands clasped together and chin resting on top. "I'm just processing it . . ."

"I see . . ." Kaveh frowned, but relieved that it wasn't an immediate rejection. He got up onto his feet and tried to fake a smile, ready to retreat to his room to lick his wounds. "If you need time to do that, I understand. Thank you for hearing  me out."

"Kaveh." Alhaitham watched as the sudden call of the name stopped the architect dead in his tracks. "Look . . .I'm not rejecting it . . .I like you too but, I don't know how to act or what to do. Or what it will mean."

"Oh, well . . ." Kaveh sighed, returning to the divan but sitting down closer to the scribe. "Then . . .should we talk about it more?"

Kaveh smiled as he watched a small nod of affirmation of the idea from the other. As awkward as it may be to start, he was at least glad that Alhaitham was on a similar page.