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Y/N's POV
I sat in the familiar surroundings of our favorite café, my emotions threatening to overwhelm me, I couldn't help but lean on the support of my closest friends. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I called out to Jessi unnie and Ji-eun unnie, seeking solace in their comforting presence.
"Unnieeeeeeee..." I sobbed, my voice choked with emotion as I rested my head on the table, my shoulders shaking with the weight of my distress. "Jimin..." I whispered, the name a bitter taste on my tongue.
In an instant, Jessi unnie's protective instincts kicked in, her eyes blazing with fury as she leapt to my defense. "What the actual fuck is going on? What did he do?! Did he hurt you? I'm gonna cut his—," she began, her words laced with righteous indignation.
But before she could launch into a tirade against Jimin, I held up a hand to stop her, my heart heavy with the weight of my confession. "We have to MC together..." I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.
Jessi unnie and Ji-eun unnie exchanged puzzled glances, their expressions mirroring their confusion as they took in my words. "What's the problem then?" Ji-eun unnie asked, her tone tinged with innocence as she searched for clarification.
"The problem is HIM. He's the problem!" I exclaimed, my frustration bubbling to the surface as I struggled to articulate the turmoil within me. "I don't wanna be near him," I declared, shaking my head adamantly.
"What?" Jessi unnie exclaimed, her brow furrowing in disbelief as she processed my words. "Why?!" Ji-eun unnie chimed in, her confusion evident in the furrow of her eyebrows.
I opened my mouth to explain, to pour out the jumble of emotions swirling inside me, but the words caught in my throat, leaving me speechless. "I...I just..." I stammered, my voice trailing off into a feeble murmur as I struggled to find the right words.
Real smooth, Y/N, I scolded myself inwardly, berating my inability to articulate the complexities of my feelings. "What do you mean you just don't?!" Jessi unnie demanded, her frustration palpable as she sank into her chair, her resolve weakening in the face of my vague explanation.
With a heavy sigh, she waved over a server, her voice barely above a whisper as she ordered a large beer, her shoulders slumping in defeat. As the server hurried off to fulfill her request, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at my inability to express myself clearly, leaving my friends baffled and frustrated by my cryptic confession.
As I struggled to put my feelings into words, my friends listened attentively, their expressions a mixture of sympathy and understanding. I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts before I continued.
"I...well, I don't think I can...keep myself composed or...keep my feelings in check if I'm near him," I began, my voice barely above a whisper. Jessi unnie and Ji-eun unnie nodded in understanding, their eyes filled with empathy.
"And...it's just...I don't want myself to lose my composure or let my feelings loose. And my brain, it understands...just how bad this relationship could turn out, but...my heart just keeps going rogue. It doesn't make sense," I mumbled, frustration evident in my tone.
Ji-eun unnie furrowed her brows in contemplation, her expression thoughtful as she considered my words. "And just how, per se, would this relationship 'turn out bad'?" she asked, her voice gentle as she probed for clarification.
"Well, for starters, we have a very awkward relationship," I explained, the words tumbling from my lips in a rush as I struggled to articulate my thoughts. "We are neither friends nor enemies, nor are we just on stranger awkward terms. We are well acquainted with each other. We are colleagues and have a professional relationship and environment to most of our meetings. If not, I'm only mutually connected through Taehyung; which brings me to my second point, if I date Jimin and him and I break up, it would make things deathly awkward with Jimin. Much worse than now, or before," I elaborated, hoping to convey the complexity of the situation.
"Hm, good point," Jessi unnie agreed, nodding in acknowledgment. "Exactly. And even if the public doesn't know, we both would know we broke up with each other, and that would make working together hard. And acting normal, like nothing happened," I continued, my voice tinged with uncertainty.
"Well, that is true," Ji-eun unnie conceded, her expression thoughtful as she considered the implications of my words. "Plus, I'm an idol. I can't date," I added, resting my argument.
"Well, it's not like you can't date. Just keep it a secret," Jessi unnie suggested casually, her tone nonchalant.
"Ah-ah, I can't lie to my fans," I shook my head adamantly. "It's not lying...it's just...not telling the truth," Jessi unnie countered, her grin awkward as she attempted to lighten the mood.
"Well, you could always refuse the MCing job," Ji-eun unnie suggested, her tone tinged with concern.
"I can't. That's the problem. Pd-nim is really pushing the agenda that I should do it," I explained, feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on me.
"Do you really have to listen to that old man?" Jessi unnie countered, her voice laced with skepticism.
"Did you drink before coming here?" Ji-eun unnie asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.
"No..." Jessi unnie answered, her expression puzzled.
"Then why are you asking dumb questions? Of course she does!" Ji-eun unnie exclaimed, her frustration evident.
"Relax," I interjected, attempting to diffuse the tension. "I'll figure something out."
"Yeah, 'cause you're such a genius," Jessi unnie teased, a playful glint in her eye.
"I am," I stated confidently, shooting her a smug look.
"Psst, show off," she shot back, playfully nudging my arm.
"You wish I was showing off," I retorted, unable to suppress a grin. My attention was diverted to Ji-eun unnie, while she advised me.
"Y/N, I think you'll have to do it. But, you can just avoid him and only speak when necessary. I'm sure he'll get tired of hearing you give dry and vague answers. But...Y/N, you know this could be something really beautiful...are you sure you want to...not even give it a chance?" Ji-eun unnie questioned, her voice gentle yet probing.
"Absolutely," I nodded resolutely, my decision firm.
As I bid farewell to my friends and made my way home, a sense of uncertainty lingered in the air. Despite my best efforts to rationalize my feelings, I couldn't shake the nagging question: What if? What if I had allowed myself to entertain the possibility of a relationship with Jimin? But for now, I remained steadfast in my decision, prioritizing my career and maintaining the delicate balance between professional responsibilities and personal desires.
