Dear Austin ~Cashby~

Chapter 14

A/N: One more chapter after this one...

*Flash back*

"Austin?" I asked worriedly as my husband walked into the lounge, having just recieved a phone call from his sargent.

It had been two days since the twin towers came crashing down, two days since the pentagon was attacked, and building 7 came down too. The death count kept on rising, the missing people's count too, as well as the count for those injured. Two days everything had been at an almost stand still. You couldn't just carry on the next day as if nothing happened with something so horrifying like that. All we could do is do what we had to do to function as humans and sit and wait anxiously as we waited for more news.

"T-That's was my sarge."

"What did he say?"

"They've declared war on Iraq...and my team is being sent out there."

My jaw dropped in shock, the thought of Austin, my newly wed husband, being sent out into the middle of a war zone terrified me. This wasn't like before, where it was training, or collecting intel, or small civial wars, or anything like he'd dealt with before. No, this time it was an all out war, with ten times the bombs, guns, weapons, armies on both sides, with thousands more men and ten times the danger. "No...no you can't go, you'll get killed!"

"Baby I have too, it's an order, I don't get a say. I'm so sorry baby." Tears pooled in his eyes, he knew the danger just as well as I did, if not better.

"I CAN'T LOOSE YOU!" I screamed, tears slipping from my eyes. "We only just got married! We're supposed to spend our entire lives together! I CAN'T WATCH YOU GO AUSTIN!"

"What and you think that I can just leave you?! I don't WANT to go Alan! I know how high the risk is going to be! I've been into war zones, and I know how dangerous they are and those wars...are NOTHING compared to this! So I know Alan! And knowing that, you think it's easy for me to have to leave you? But I don't get a damn CHOICE here Alan, I signed up for this, and so did you when you married me. I'm so damn SORRY that this happened, I'm sorry I ever joined, I'm sorry I'm having to do this to you, to us, I'm sorry I never thought this would happen, and I'm SORRY that I can't comfort you and promise you that I'll come home safe, but I don't have a CHOICE! If I don't go, I will be stripped of my uniform and I will be thrown behind bars for going AWOL. And going AWOL from the U.S army...is a minimum of twenty years...in a fedral prision! So we have two choices here Alan, which one do you want me to pick? Being locked up, in a fedral prison, probably somewhere freaking far away from here, where I'm never going to be able to see you for at LEAST twenty years, maybe even life...or do you want me to go out there, fight for our country, fight for what's RIGHT and take the risk? Yeah the risk is high, but think about it Alan, I'm out in two years, two years is all we have to survive, two years is all I have to fight for, and then I will be home safe with you forever. And I promise you Alan, I will do everything in my damn power to make sure I come home safe to you. I promise I will fight to stay alive for you, for me, for us, so we can have the life we always dreamed off. Which one do you want me to pick Alan?"

I stared at Austin, biting my lip, my whole body shaking. Suddenly I ran towards my husband, throwing my arms around him and letting gut wrenching sobs fall from my lips. "I'm sorry, I-I'm s-so sorry."

"It's okay baby, It's okay." Austin soothed, wrapping his arms around me tight, our heads buried into each others necks as we stood there, letting the tears fall.

"G-Go...you need too." I sniffed, eventually lifting my head up to him.

"I promise, I will write as much as I can and as often as I can. I can't take a phone, or laptop, but there will be a secure line so I will call when I can too. I can't promise it will be often, there may be days, even weeks with no contact. But please, I know it's hard but stay positive for me, I need you to be strong for me, I need to know that while I'm out there, that you're okay. Ask Amanda and Aaron to move in here if you need too, ask Shayley, ask whoever if you find yourself needing someone to be around. Do whatever you have to do to make sure you're okay while I'm gone, I need you to do that for me, can you do that?"