expect the unexpected ↠ pacey witter

t e n

The tension in the house is high. It has been high since Dawson told me about Mom cheating, but now mixed with Joey and Jen's families is it's even worse. Jen's grandmother doesn't like Bessie because she is pregnant and she isn't married.

        I went upstairs to have a few minutes to myself because the house seems so small with all these people here. My room was the only place guaranteed to be empty, and the bathroom, but at least I don't have a to fake a shit in my room. The wind is rapidly hitting the house, honestly storms make me nervous. Especially hurricanes, and the fact that I can't rely on my family for any type of support right now sucks. I can't even look at Mom or Dad, because if I look at Mom I feel so angry that I see red, and when I look at dad my heart breaks into two because he's so happily in love and she is going to kill him.

I was just about to go to the bathroom and head back downstairs before I felt rude leaving our guest, even if it was just during a storm. Maybe I'll find Jen, but she's probably with Dawson.

I am standing at the top of the steps, just about to go downstairs when I hear Mom talking in a hushed whisper.

I stop walking and begin to ease drop. "Oh! Thank you, Walter Cronkite. Need I remind you who won the local Emmy and Golden Desk award. Hmm?" Mom flirts into the phone, my heart drops. "I have more plaques and trophies than you do." She giggles, and then gasps. "Bad boy! Well you just be careful out there. I'd like you back in one piece, okay?" She hums and if I didn't know that my dad was right downstairs, I would have thought she was talking to him.

       She then blows kisses into the phone and I feel sick. Hearing about it and actively hearing her cheat are two different things and all I want to do is scream. Dawson, who has been dealing with this for a bit longer than me, passes me and stops on the steps behind her. I see her tense, and stands slowly turning around after she hangs up.

        "Got a new award for you, Mom. It's not a trophy through. It comes in the form of an "A" and you have to stick it right here," he says motioning to his chest. "Congratulations."

         I feel the silent tears streaming down my face as I watch her blink up at him helplessly. It's true. A piece of me was hoping that it wasn't and Dawson had seen it wrong, but hearing that I know that he was so right. My Mom is cheating on my Dad.

       I wa—need Pacey. I need him so badly right now. I shake out my hands, realizing that I have no idea where he is right now. We didn't discuss our hurricane plans before everything broke out into chaos. I'm sure he's home, and safe but right now I don't feel safe.

        I go back to my room, locking the door behind me. I can't handle being around anyone in this state. And suddenly, as if God hear me, my phone starts ringing.

I pick it up, knowing it has to be him. He's the only one not here. "Hello?" I say quickly. "Pacey?"

         "Claire, oh thank God you didn't lose power yet. I just wanted to call and see how you guys were doing."

        Hearing his voice calms me. "We're doing okay," I lie. "I'm doing better now that I know you're okay," I say honestly. He is just going to spend the entire hurricane stressing about me if I let him in on all this drama. "Where are you? Are you actually okay?" I ask reverting the topic from me.

        "Yeah me and my brother ended up at Tamara's house. She hates storms. Him and her seem to be hitting it off." He says in a hushed whisper. "I wish I was with you, you doing okay with the storm? I know you don't like them either."

          "You know that?" I ask, surprised. "I didn't think you would."

"Yeah, it's something I've picked up over the years of being around you. I noticed you more then you probably think," he says and I smile. So many times I was assuming I was being delusional and here he was noticing me all this time without me even realizing.

"Really"? I say, gushing like an idiot.

I feel myself smiling. Just two minutes before he called I was ready to have a full breakdown and now I'm smiling like an idiot as if my life isn't completely falling apart around me.

"I've always noticed you."

            I don't get a chance to respond because the power goes out and I'm in complete darkness and silence. I don't have flashlight but I hear things falling, it possibly being thrown? That's when I hear tapping at my door.

         "Claire?" It's Dawson, I find my way over in the dark and crack the door, and from the look on his face something happened.

         "What's wrong?" I ask, opening the door wider so he can come in. He doesn't come in, he stands there. "Dawson!"

          "Mom told Dad, and —"

          "She told him now?! With everyone here?!"

         "I know. I know, he shattered a lamp or something. That was him tossing things around and then he just started telling me to get flashlights and then I just came right up here."

"I can help you clean it—"

         "No, go make sure everyone else is settled okay. I got the glass, and flashlights."

I don't do as he asks. I follow him into the dinning area. Holding a trash bag so he can put the pieces into it. "We're sticking together right now. Everyone else is okay, I need you."

He doesn't say anything, he just nods and he looks so sad. If my heart wasn't already broken up about this, just seeing his face like that would have broken it for sure. I'm overwhelmed, and I feel like my entire life is falling apart in front of my eyes and I can't control it. The only thing I can control is my relationship with Pacey and that isn't even fully at my own circumstances. I'd love to be able to love him in public, show him off, but it would hurt Dawson and then all three of us would fall apart. And God forbid Dawson finds out about us right now... I don't think he'd handle it.

So many things are spinning in my head as Gran, Jennifer from next doors, Grandmother places a gentle hand on my back snapping me out of my thoughts.

        "Can I help you two with this?"

       "No, no, it's fine. Thanks," Dawson says and the sadness drips from his voice and me and Grams share a knowing look.

       I shrug, not sure what to do. I don't feel fully comfortable with her to even begin to tell her what is happening. But right now, she doesn't seem like the scary old women next door. Her eyes seem kind and gentle in the candle light.

      "Mister Ryan used to say, if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with a lot of rain," she says and Dawsons jaw hardens.

        Please don't snap at her Dawson. Please don't snap.

       He scoffs, "so you know too?" He asks. My eyes widen in shock. What is he doing?

       She doesn't say anything about his comment, brushing past it, and they start talking in movie lingo I don't understand. What I can seem to understand, is how she knew exactly what to say because his clenched jaw loosens as she walks away.

        "Where are my parents?" I ask once me and Dawson are done cleaning.

        "Dad left." Is all Mom says before she drops to the floor in tears.