My Crutches Stories (True stories)

4|| Ugh... Just- Ugh.

Y'all who are my lovable readers, know that I've been having Wattpad trouble (major ick). 

Ughhhhh.

Wattpad troubles.

Astoria's been filling in for me when she can, but sometimes she's more busy than I am- Anyways this week, and unfortunately probably only this week, I will be able to update as much as possible (FUCK YEAHHHH).

And now, to continue....

I forgot which day I'm on so deal with it-

Tuesday came, and it was so uneventful. Except...

I tripped.

And fell.

And tumbled down my stairs again.

And hopped into a car that wasn't mine....

BY ACCIDENT!

Tripping:

I was exiting Algebra (the amount of time it took to figure out how to spell that is wild) when my friend said don't trip...

So obviously, I did exactly what I was totally supposed to do-

I tripped over the doorway.

Now, I was very unprepared and extremely embarrassed... BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL DID HE FUCKING JINX ME FOR?!

I didn't ask to trip, didn't expect it, didn't DESERVE TO FALL WITH CRUTCHES MAKING BRUISES ON MY SIDES!!!

No, because this friend, now my current boyfriend (Goofy ass boy, but you gotta love him tho), honestly was telling me not to trip and be careful for once in my life because, for the 5 years we've known each other, he's seen me trip and face plant over a pickleball net, get stuck in both a dryer and a washer, sprain both my ankles, dislocate now both knees, and more... So this genuine, endearing comment was truly not meant to jinx me.

AND YET IT STILL DID!

Like, love ya meant it, but whatthehelldidyouhavetojinxmeforthen?!

Anyways, we laughed it off later on call.

Stairs:

Alright, so it is a little known fact that I'm clumsy as hell, so crutches + me + stairs = DISASTER!

The stairs in my house are not what I want to die on. I like to wear socks in my house and so I was kinda walking around and the CARPETED stairs- pay attention now- are very slideable (is that a word? No? Welp, now it is.)

So, socks and carpet are also not a good equation with me. Plus, going downstairs is way harder than going up.

Alright.

Here's the deal.

I used to do gymnastics.

But this was the first time I got to apply the somersaults to STAIRS. Fr, I never thought I'd see the day- or even live to see the day. As I look back on it now, I'm thinking, why the hell was I so stupid? But here's the thing about that thought.

I'm still stupid.

Cuz guess what I still wear?

Socks.

On.

CARPET!!!

You guys, I swear I'm mentally ok!

Car:

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WASN'T MY CAR!

I wasn't paying attention, crutching along and following my amazing muda so in my defense, I was more focused on not letting the ground rush up to me than getting from point A to point C.

And, IN MY DEFENSE, the lady in the car besides our also had a similar car and had unlocked the door at the same time my muda did.

AND IN MY DEFENSE... 

I'm hopelessly stupid... and I opened the door and this lady GAPED at me and said, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

My muda said, "Sorry, ma'am, she's a bit confused," and ushered out of this poor lady's car.

AND IN MY DEFENSE!

I WAS really...

Really...

Confused.

My Muder wasn't lying.

So, yeah...

I had a really...

Really...

Stupid day.