Bloodline

Junior year.

Losing a parent feels like losing a piece of yourself. I lost my parents when I was  3, too young to have any answers just old enough to have memories. Not enough of course, although how many memories is enough with someone you love? Now my best-friend since the age of three has lost both her parents and miraculously survived a fatal car crash and I don't know how I can even begin to help. I wanna relate but I can't help but feel like I'll never know her pain, I mourn an idea. She mourns the people who have raised loved and supported her, for her entire life. Its simply not the same. It's been four months now but I'm a strong believer that "time heals all wounds" is complete and utter bullshit. At least when it comes to grief.

"Ruby? Hellooo?"
I snap from my disassociated state and see Caroline's agitated face looking back at me. "So are you joining cheer this year or not?" Her eyebrows raise so high her forehead almost disappears.
"I told you I can't volleyballs already a lot for me and I think coach might make me captain."
"That's the problem. I'm the cheer captain now and I totally need you on my team." She twirls her hair in-between two fingers.
"Caroline..." I chew my lip nervously. I know I'm letting Caroline down right now but cheer last year made me wanna break all 206 bones just so I could get out of wearing my hair like that.
"Its fine I get it. Volleyball will help you shed off the weight." My eyes widen and I feel my heart drop. I was used to Caroline's petty comments but she was usually at least kind enough to avoid commenting on my weight.
"Yea. Goodbye Caroline." I slam my locker and head over to Bonnie and Elena. I contemplate standing next to them for a moment because their summer tans only accentuate my sunburn. "Hey Lena, hey B." I smile grabbing my backpack strap for support.
"Hey Ruby" Elena smiles.
"How are you?"
Elena frowns for a moment and then quickly smiles, like she's covering her tracks. "I'm ok honestly." I nod, even though its bullshit.
"Are you guys gonna try out for volleyball?"
"Sorry rubes, Caroline already got to us." Bonnie smiles sheepishly and gestures to Caroline walking over.
She approaches Elena and begins grilling her on the cheer routine for tryouts. For a moment, despite Caroline's blatant attitude Elena seems grateful someone's treating her normal. She grins ear to ear and laughs when Caroline reprimands her. Its refreshing. It doesn't last long because Caroline interrupts herself.
"Oh my god Elena how are you. Bonnie how is she?!"
"Right here Caroline." Elena's face drops.
"Sorry but we're gonna be late I've gotta run" I turn on my heels and smile making my way to English.

I sit next to Matt, the only familiar face in the room and smile. "Hey Matt"
He gives me a half smile back. Elena broke up with him a couple months ago after her parents died, which is completely understandable but Matt's not taking it well. "Have you talked to her at all"
"What is there to talk about" he pouts.
"You guys have been friends forever, so literally anything" he flinches at the word friend. Elena is gorgeous, olive skin and long dark hair. Which results in a lot of guys being interested in her, but no one's pined after Elena the way Matt has.
"Miss Noyes do I need to mark you absent?" Mr.Harvey taps his foot holding the attendance sheet.
"Sorry I spaced, I'm here though" he pushes his lips together and marks the paper. I honestly like Mr.Harvey he's old so he's got that no nonsense exterior but generally he's nice.
Matt shakes his head and chuckles,I elbow him as a retort and in that moment everything feels normal again. These past couple of months have felt like the twilight zone but if you look closely you can see glances of what it used to be.

First day of junior year has been accomplished and I'm exhausted, I still have tryouts which means I have approximately 10 minutes to turn these flare jeans into spandex so when Tyler approaches me I get the violent urge to scratch my eyeballs out. Tyler is the Matt to my Elena, he's always been interested in me but he's one of my best-friends and I don't think I could ruin that. He pleasantly surprises me and asks if I want a ride home.
"If its not too much trouble that would be great, I have to rush over to tryouts."
"Its fine" he smirks, I don't know why he doesn't just smile it honestly freaks me out sometimes like he has an ulterior motive to everything he does. I laugh and walk to his car, when I get in the smell of weed immediately fills air.
"Damn Tyler I'm gonna get contact high just sitting in here" I fake cough and wave the air.
"Only because you're a light weight" He laughs and starts the car. " I didn't see you all summer thought you might've been avoiding me."
"I wasn't avoiding you I was on vacation" I roll my eyes, but truth be told I never go on the family "vacations" I usually stay with Elena or Caroline while my grandpa goes camping in the mountains with some distant family. I hate camping and I hate awkward old ladies pinching my cheeks swearing they know me, but most of all I hate when they reminisce my mother. This summer I went because nothing was the same. I couldn't stay with Elena, Caroline had turned into a major bitch since her father left, Matt was perpetually sad, and Tyler is Tyler.
"Where?"
"Smoky mountains."
"Camping?" He laughs.
"Yep."
"Okay now I know you're avoiding me." I'm glad he finds this amusing however I find it frustrating that every conversation with one of my closest friends is stressful.
I sigh and he stops the car Infront of my house. It's one of the crappier ones but it's right by Elena's so I've never complained. Its a small brick one story house with a small garden in front. I start to feel self conscious of the house with Tyler's fancy car parked infront.
"Nice talking to you Tyler" I peck his cheek and turn to leave the car when he grabs my arm.
"Wait. Ruby."
I stop, my heart starts racing because I know what hes about to say.
Then he kisses me. I guess he wasn't gonna say anything. For a moment I kiss him back which I know is wrong because I don't see him like that but I get so carried away I deepen the kiss. Then suddenly I'm leaning in. I should probably mention this is my first kiss, definitely not Tyler's.
Just when his hands begin to wander I feel a hot sensation burning my chest. I pull away and gasp clasping my chest, my hands lands on my locket and for a moment the locket sears my skin and then goes cold.
That was fucking weird.