All I see is Sainz

Chapter 5

 

       I've never been ashamed of my son, or been frustrated that most guys don't want to be with someone who has a toddler. But here I was panicking, going crazy not sure if Carlos heard Elias call me mami. Cassidy joined us in the kitchen soon after and I told her. She got me to calm down and told me to just relax. She and Elias ate their breakfast. I was thinking of all possible scenarios. Carlos would call or text me any moment to cancel on our breakfast date. Or he'd come at 8 only to tell me in person he doesn't want to see me.
        After concluding there's nothing I can do at the moment I pull myself together and focus on taking my little mini me to school. "Hurry baby, brush your teeth we have to go". He hops off the stool and scurries to the bathroom. Cass, left a couple minutes ago and reminded me to just calm down and breathe. I stood by the door with Elias's book bag in my hand. He comes running to me and takes his book bag. I almost forget my purse on the kitchen island and quickly run back for it. We make our way to the lobby and begin our daily walk to school.
      We arrive right on time as usual. We say our goodbyes and I watch him run into school. I take a deep breath and begin my walk back to our apartment building where Carlos is supposed to pick me up. I glance at my watch as I'm nearing the building, 7:47am. Sure enough Carlos is early. I see his car parked in the same spot and yesterday. Here we go, moment of truth. He must not have seen me coming until I'm less than three feet from his car. He hurriedly gets out of his driver seat and comes to greet me. "Buenos Dias, ready to go?" He asks me with a huge smile. "Yup" I smile back nervously. He grabs my hand and leads me to the passenger side. Helping me in as usual. The car ride is silent and a bit awkward. Now I know he surely heard Elias. Thankfully it's a short card ride. We arrive at a small breakfast cafe. Surprisingly it's not very packed for this time of the morning.
           We get seated and we order. I'm thinking of something to say to break the silence. "So..." he breaks the silence. "I know you heard" I say not beating around the bush. "Was that for you or your roommate?" He tries to keep the options open. "I was planning on telling you I swear. Depending on how this morning goes. I didn't want to say anything at first in case this is just a breakfast date and that's it. I told myself that if by the end of this date I got the feeling we'd keep seeing each other, I'd tell you." I confess. "Hey don't worry, you don't have to explain yourself to me." He tried to console me. I'm a wreck. I've never felt this way before. I feel, cornered. "So, you're a mom huh?" He asks as if to be fully clear. "Yeah... I can go. I'll just take my order to go and pay for mine." I throw in.
         "That's not necessary. We can still enjoy breakfast." He says, his smile gone. I feel a wave of defeat. How could I be so stupid. Of course I'd no longer be interesting once he found out I was a mother. "How old?" He asks curiously. Our waitress brings our food and I can't help but notice how she checks him out. A tinge of jealousy courses through me for no reason. "Six. He's the light of my life." I say and I feel a wave of pride. "I'm a single mother" I clarify. "Ohh. His father isn't in the picture at all?" His brows furrow with his question. "No. It's better that way" I say a bit too defensive. We begin to eat and just take in each other presence. "I'm sorry for not having said anything yesterday." I apologize once again. "It's ok. I guess I can understand where you're coming from." He speaks sympathetically. I don't need his sympathy though. "He's a huge fan of yours actually" I chuckle. "He's the one who keeps me in loop with Formula 1. He's only six but boy is he smart." My heart flutters just thinking about my sweet boy.
          We continue our breakfast and he continues to ask questions about Elias which I don't mind answering. It's the least I could do. By the time we finish eating it's already 9:30am. The waitress cleared our table but we stayed seated, slowly drinking our second cup of coffee. "Not a fan of kids?" I assumed. "It's not that. I like kids. I want kids of my own someday..." I could tell this was a sensitive subject for him. "An ex thing?" I throw out. "Yeah... I dated this girl for a while. 4 years to be exact. But I ended things because she kept insisting on wanting a baby. It's not that I didn't want one. I don't hate babies. It's just she wasn't very supportive of my career. Saying I should quit so we can raise a baby together. After four years she still didn't support my career choice and I ultimately chose what was best for me." He admits. He seemed a bit ashamed at his confession.
         "I'm sorry, that must be hard. To be with someone for so long, yet they still don't support you. I can't imagine. How long ago was this?" "Almost two years now." He offers a soft half smile. "I haven't had any luck with love. I haven't been in a relationship in six years so I'm out of experience. But I'm truly sorry you had to go through that with someone you thought was your partner." I placed my hand over his on the table and his face lights up at the gesture. "Wow. So you haven't been with anyone since your son?" He asks shocked. "Pretty much." I admit. We continue to talk for another half hour until we ultimately decide we should leave since we finished our breakfast a while ago. We get back in his car and he drives me back home. He helps me out of the car as usual. "Thank you for breakfast. I had a good time." I try to keep a smile on my face but I know what's coming. Rejection.
           "I had a good time too. I have to get going though" he frowns. "I have some last minute things to prep before my flight. But I'll text you when I'm in Italy. I'm down to FaceTime if you are too." He offers energetic. "You still want to be in touch? You don't want to run for the hills?" I say confused. "Why would I?" He asks just as confused and reaches to hold my hand. "A single mother ? Come on now." I say bashing in his face. "Bear with me, I know this is corny but I just can't seem to let you go. There's something about you,I couldn't stop thinking about you last night. I'll admit, I was very thrown off this morning on the phone but I really like you. I know we've just met, but I think you're wonderful. You're beautiful. I think you're very intriguing and resilient. I'd like to keep in touch while I'm away these next two weeks and get to know each other more. When I get back... we'll see where we're at?" He finishes.
         I'm blushing, flattered by his comment. Before I could respond, squealing and screams get both of our attention and we turn to see a crown of people with phones out coming towards us. More specifically, him. I pull him by the hand into my apartment building and rush him into the elevator with me. We hear the crowd getting closer when the elevator doors close just in time. "Quick thinking" he praises. "Sorry. I just don't want to end up all over social media." I admit. "Understandable." "But back to your previous statement, if you're sure you want to then I'll be more than happy. I just want to be fully clear and transparent with you. I don't want you to think I'm after you for your money or anything." I state. "I think you're not like any other woman. That much was made clear from the moment we met." He chuckles. The elevator comes to a stop and I press the button to take us back down to the lobby.
          We reach the lobby and judging by the quietness, we assume it's safe to come out. We stayed within the safety of the lobby. "I have to go now. But I'll be in touch. When I get back we'll see where we're at." He kisses me on the cheek. "Have a safe flight and a great race weekend" i smile at him. With that he walks away and out the lobby. He's quick to sprint around to his car. Elias would be so jealous. I chuckle to myself.

   Four days later....
     
            It's been a couple of days since my two dates with Carlos, and since I last seen him. It's Sunday now and it's Race day. I upheld my promise and let Elias stay home on Friday. We watched the formula 1 tv after I went ahead and got us a subscription. We've been watching all weekend. Practices went good, qualifying even better. According to Elias and the commentators, Carlos placed P2. So he will be starting the race in second place today. We've been texting just as Carlos said. We FaceTimed a couple times. He shows me the views from Italy. From his hotel room, the track, and whenever he goes out.
           Everything had been going nicely. We'd text when he wasn't busy or in his race car. And we usually talked on the phone a bit at nights. He caught me up to speed and explained formula 1 to me as best as he could so I could understand.  The season was still fairly starting, this would be his seventh race so far. He was on the red Ferrari team. So far he'd been doing better than his teammate, Charles. He was in third place in the driver's championship standings. He was working really hard this year to stay in top three, or better yet, become a first time world champion. I would text him to wish him luck and a good day just before he'd have to go and get busy in the car.
         I woke up early for a Sunday to make a breakfast feast to go along with watching the race. Elias even got Cass to join us. I made sure to make coffee for the two of us.
       It was now 10 minutes until 'lights out' as fans call it. I had texted Carlos when I first woke up. Wishing him luck and to stay safe. I told him we'd be cheering him on in my apartment. Throughout our texting and calls he didn't seem uncomfortable with the thought of me having a son, he even went as far as to ask about Elias's interests and hobbies.
         We were all gathered in the couch. Tv volume set as loud as we thought we could go without disturbing neighbors. This would be my first time watching a full race weekend. I was exited. Carlos looked so good in his race suit. Fucking hot. Even after spending over an hour in the car and in a helmet. When he'd take his helmet off, his hair was somehow still perfect. He was perfect.
         "It's lights out and away we go" the race had officially started. We all ate our breakfast and watched intensely. It was lap 10 of 68 and Carlos was still in second place. Not bad. His scarlet Ferrari in between two Red Bulls. Elias told me how dominating Red Bull was. Especially Max Verstappen. How he has been winning every race lately. Carlos was struggling to keep up with this Max guy, but he was a safe away distance from the other Red Bull driver, Sergio, Checo.
          We were down to lap 37 and things were getting tense. There had been a couple times Carlos was trying to overtake Max, but Max defended his position aggressively. They were less than a second apart according to the little diagram on the tv. They were nearing another corner and you could see Carlos getting into position once again to try and take first place.
"Come on CARLOSSS" Elias yelled anxiously. "Come on!!!" I yelled too. Cassidy laughed at us but was also on the edge of her seat. "Going past turn 6, coming up to turn 7! Sainz getting into position to try once more to overtake Verstappen. Will he pull it off or will the Dutchman remain untouchable!" The commentators voice was getting higher. The tension was heavy. "Going into turn 7, Verstappen hugging the inside, SAINZ TAKING THE OUTSIDE. ITS CLOSE! Going wheel to wheel. AND SAINZ HAS PASSED VERSTAPPEN!!! The crowd roars at this overtake."
        Elias and I start cheering of excitement and jump up. "Sainz in first place taking the lead, but he's not safe yet. Verstappen three seconds behind trying to regain his position. Sainz will have to really push through to secure this win and move up a spot in the driver's championship standings." Elias and I come down from our high of cheering and sit back down. We're on the edge of the couch cheering Carlos on hoping for him to get this win.
           We're down to the last lap, and Max has stayed right behind Carlos the whole time. A couple times he tried to overtake Carlos but he defended just as aggressively and Max had earlier on in the race. "Come on Carlos ! You can do this!" I yell to the tv.
          "It's Carlos Sainz for the win in Emilia-Romagna" the commentator confirms Carlos's win and we go crazy here. Even Cass joins the celebration. "He's a smoooth operator. SMOOOTH OPERATORRRRR" I recognize Carlos voice. His Radio is put on the tv as well as a camera onboard his car. "Carlos sings that when he wins. They call him the Smooth Operator too mami!!" Elias tells me. I couldn't help but laugh. I walk to the kitchen for a glass of water and pull my phone out. "Great job, Mr.Smooth Operator. I knew you could do it. <3" I know he wouldn't see my text until later but I wanted to send it now.