forbidden~anakin skywalker

༻five༺

   the door creaks open and i look up to see my father stood in the doorway with a dropped jaw.
   i bolt upright "it's not what it looks like! he just came in to chat and it got hot so he took off his shirt and we were both really tired so he just slept here instead of going back to his room!"
   anakin stands, grabbing his robes from the floor "i should go." he leaves me and my father alone in the room.
my father sits on the end of the bed as i sit up and sighs "i told you this would happen."
i nod.
"and i told you to stop."
i nod
"and now you've had sex with him. i thought you were raised better than this imani."
i mutter under my breath "it's not like you raised me anyway you sent me away when i was 2."
"i'm sorry for that." he apologises as he heard what i had said. "i just wanted you to grow up well and be a good person. besides you always looked up to the jedi. when you were only mo the old you were hitting me with sticks pretending it was a lightsaber."
i stay silent.
"look i'm not mad at you i'm just disappointed. i thought you were better than this. i mean for heavens sake imani you're not a naive young padawan anymore. you're a jedi."
i take a minute before speaking up "why is it so bad? it wasn't just meaningless sex. i love him and he loves me too. i mean what about you and mom? that must've been allowed because i was born so it was obvious that you were in love with someone and you weren't removed from your training. why should i be removed from the jedi or anakin from his training?"
"look..." my father sighs "the jedi have their reasons. people are driven by love but jedi should be driven by the force and the jedi code. we cannot have silly little emotions like love getting in the way of that."
i have nothing to say. it's a good point. i just disobeyed the code i've sworn by my entire life for a stupid boy. but i do love him. with my entire life body and soul i swear by the force that i love him with everything i am. every star in the galaxy. they don't shine as bright as his eyes or smile or my heart when he's around.
"get some sleep." he kisses my forehead and stands up "you must be tired and you're not thinking straight. we can talk in the morning. you'll probably be regretting this by then."
he leaves the room and i go to sleep like he said. i'm the morning he wakes me up with a plate of eggs and a glass of juice.
"eat." he commands, putting the plate and glass on the nightstand before taking a seat where he did last night. "do you regret it yet!"
i take a minute, considering lying to my father but it's pointless. not only does he know me well enough to know when i'm lying but he also reads minds so he already knows my answer. "...no."
"imani, if the council find out about this you could be exiled. both of you."
"exile me then." i snap back. i take a deep breath before continuing "if anakin and i got exiled then maybe i'd get a life with him. at the moment what happened last night has to have been meaningless sex but i want it to be more. i love him. maybe if we were exiled he would take me to tatooine. we could live with his mother while we make a life of our own. we could get married and have children and grow old together. don't get me wrong i love being a jedi. but i also wouldn't oppose to that life either."
"the jedi are just being cautious...you know-"
"actually i don't." i ask "why is it in the code? rules are put in place to prevent things from happening again...so jedi have obviously loved before but what happened that was so bad it became forbidden?"
my father shakes his head "i'm not allowed to tell you. it is to be unspoken of."
he leaves me to eat before i go to find anakin. he's still in bed when i find him.
"what are you doing in here?" his question sounds snarky but his face lights up and he flashes me that charming smile.
i rush to the bed and sit down by him "lets leave."
his face drops. "leave?"
"i don't want to be a jedi if i can't show my love for you anakin." i grab his hand "let's leave the order. go to your family on tatooine and start another life. one together. in love with showing it and we don't have to sneak around."
he slides his hand out of mine. "i'm the chosen one. i can't just leave. i became this to protect people. the ones i love. i love you. i want to be a jedi so i can protect you. please stay. keep sneaking around with me. i mean obi-wan knows but he cares about the both of us so if he wants us to be happy he won't tell the council. trust me."
i take a minute to think about it. my father has always supported me so maybe he's not wrong about this. "okay. i trust you. i'll always trust you...have you ever been told why jedi aren't allowed to fall in love?"
he pauses "i've never given it much thought."
i want to know. i will know.