The Broken Heart Syndrome

CHAPTER 6

RHYTHM

Generally speaking, people get their first taste of betrayal around their teen age, right? Or maybe when they're young adults. I however had a taste since I was very young. It never stopped my whole school life or in my college years. Friends, family, lovers I have had a taste of every kind of betrayal. That is why and how I learnt to protect myself at a very young age. That is why people call me mean, cold, rude, indifferent and what not.

But I don't care, I have to survive, I need to. I don't intentionally hurt anyone, that's good enough for me.

But here is the thing, I thought I had built those walls up strong and impenetrable, but it took just a few words and actions from my father and I'm back to square one.

Standing in the middle of the living room, I stare at nothing. I feel numb all the time but this time it's more intense. My mind is blank, totally and completely empty. There's nothing.

Good. I think it's good. If I don't feel anything I won't do anything reckless.

I don't want Rohan to see me losing my shit.

"Rhythm..." my father starts as they all enter the room.

I turn around, holding my hand up and keeping my face completely blank. He or anyone doesn't need to know anything that I am feeling.

I can't deal with anymore bullshit so I straight up ask him, "Tell me you didn't just sell me to the highest bidder you could find to save your pathetic ass of a political career."

I am actually very proud of how cold and detached I sound, when inside I'm barely holding up. Rohan comes to stand behind me, I can feel his anger vibrating from his body as he keeps a reassuring hand on my back.

"Tell me, selling me to a complete stranger in the name of marriage isn't your last bet to save your sorry ass."

One thing about my father, he has only two emotions one is when he's normal and the other is anger.

Hatred and anger are dripping from his red eyes. Honestly speaking, he scares me.

But right now, my anger is too strong, so I cling to it.

Mom has been quietly seething till now.

" You are not getting married to anyone." she says, trying to reassure me.

Then she turns to father, "She is not getting married. She's only 22. What were you thinking? And why didn't you talk to me first?" she shouts at her husband.

There are very few situations where she goes head-to-head with father. I guess this is one of them.

" I was worried that you wouldn't come and about all this drama and overreaction that's why I had to do all this." He explains without an ounce of regret on his face.

"Damn right I wouldn't have come!" I say, breathing heavily.

" They are very rich people; they will take care of you. Whatever you want they'll take care of it." He says like it's all the reason for me to say yes.

" What part of I'm just 22, I want to work and don't ever want to get married, do you not understand? "

I am full on seething right now.

He just rolls his eyes at me. The NERVE! Then sighs, "You can do whatever job you want, whatever university you want to go to plus you'll probably live in a mansion in New York..."

"Wait a damn minute!"

"Who said anything about going to New York?" I shout, my heartbeat is out of control. I feel like I'm about to throw up.

He gives me a cold stare, " You are marrying Mr. Singhania's oldest son and you're going to New York and whatever job and course you want to do, you can do it there."

I just stare at him completely at loss to what to say or do so that this nightmare of a night would end.

I can feel the ground shaking beneath my feet but no its not ground it's me. I am shaking from head to toe.

Turning around on my heals, I run to the bathroom and lock myself in. By the time I'm in front of the mirror I'm full-on hyperventilating. Splashing some cold water on my face I try to control my breathing, but nothing is working.

Only one thing is on repeat in my head I can't stop it.

He sold me. He sold me. He sold me. He sold me. He sold me. He sold me. He sold me.

Sinking down on the floor, I pull my knees to my chest and stay there for a long while.

***

Finally, dawn breaks out. I can hear the birds chirping. Closing my eyes I take a deep breath in, of the fresh morning air.

I've been sitting here all night long by the window thinking about every good, bad and grey moments that led me here.

There were millions of reasons and excuses went through my head all night, why father did this? But there wasn't even one that made this betrayal less painful.

I have always ignored or made up some excuse in my head about why my parents weren't there when I needed them the most or when father never tried to build any kind of bond with us or when mom didn't get me any help when I was at the lowest point in my life.

But this time I have no excuse, none. He sold me. He sold me to a complete stranger. I know when the time came, somehow mom would have convinced herself that it is happening in my best interest.

All my life I had done what I was told to do. So, the only thing left that wasn't in their control was my body. And I had made a vow to myself a long time ago that if I was ever forced to marry a stranger and carry his child, I'll end it. I'll end it before he ever put a finger on me. This was the one thing I was never ever going to sacrifice.

There's a soft rustling sound in the quiet of the room taking me out of my thoughts. Looking around I find Rohan and mom sleeping soundly in the darkened room. There, on the floor near the door is something. I move slowly towards it, it's a manila envelope. Picking it up, I see it's a sealed envelope with "for the bride" written on the front.

All that suppressed anger from yesterday comes back with such a force that it almost knocks me off my feet. It takes me a minute to control my emotions. I didn't realize that I am crumbling the paper. Straightening it, I take it back to the window. Ripping it open I take out what looks like 2 pieces of paper with a note written on it.

It's a handwritten note with a very masculine handwriting and it says-

In the following page you'll find the duties and responsibilities of the bride with a decent compensation.

Read it.

And say yes when your father tells you about today's meeting.

Later,

-H

Who the fuck is H?

Confusion, anger, rage and so many emotions are bombarding through me that I can't even name them. The arrogance and condescension dripping from this note is making me want to kill someone.

It takes me a good ten minutes to calm myself enough to read through the next page.