The Broken Heart Syndrome

CHAPTER 16

RHYTHM

I didn't lie to my mom about needing space and packing up my stuff, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

I need to talk to Jay and explain everything myself before his mom, and my aunt (Masi) tells him the news.

We tell each other most of the things, one because we are very close in age, he's 20 and two because we don't trust any of our other cousins.

And also, he'll kill me if he doesn't get the news from me first.

I feel so nervous and anxious about his reaction to this news.

We were so excited to live in the same city if I got into the post grad program at the same university that he is at for his undergrad.

After a 2-hour flight, I finally land in Lucknow and take a taxi to his hostel room.

Its Sunday, so he should be at his room.

I knock and wait.

He opens the door and instantly I'm enveloped in a hug.

He exclaims happily, "Oh my god Di, what are you doing here?"

I smile at his excitement, "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

He shares his room with his cousin, so I ask, "Where is he?" gesturing to the second bed.

"He went back home for a couple of days." He explains.

"Now tell me how the hell are you here?"

I flop down on his bed with a sigh.

"Why can't I come and visit my favorite cousin?" I ask teasingly.

"I am very happy that you're here, but you don't travel alone and how the fuck did you manage that?"

"I know, it's a long story."

"So, spit it out." he demands.

So, I blurt out, "I'm getting married!" and cover my face with my hands.

He starts to laugh, thinking I'm messing with him.

When I stay silent and peak at him between my fingers, he jumps out of the bed and shouts, "What the fuck?"

Not wasting anytime, I tell him the whole saga leaving the NDA and the fake marriage part out of it.

I so badly want to tell him everything.

"This is wrong. Let me talk to your father." he says angrily, taking out his phone

"Don't! I already accepted the offer." I reply, not looking at him.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" he shouts again.

"You already know the chances of me getting in the university are very low."

"I don't believe that."

"It's the truth, Jay. I haven't been able to properly perform academically for a very long time and you know it."

"But you were going to get into therapy, right? You would have been fine."

"I'm not so sure." I whisper.

"But there's another reason, isn't it?" he asks, trying to wrap his head around everything.

"You know the conditions of my family and how we live."

He looks away at this. He knows everything and hates it as much as I do.

"So, I saw an opportunity to give them a better life and I took it. I fucking snatched it with both of my hands and I'm not going to apologize for it." I assert in a hard voice, wiping away a tear that got free.

He sighs and rubs his face, "I don't want you to, it's just a lot to take in."

I nod and close my eyes.

After a long while, I feel the bed shift beside me.

"Are you sure?" he asks in a somber voice.

"Yes"

"When is it?"

"The engagement is on this 15th and wedding is on 1st of July. I came directly from Mumbai here; I wanted you to know it from me. And I need to go back home to pack my stuff."

"Okay then, what do you want to do right now?"

"Right now, I want to eat and sleep. We can go to my place tomorrow."

He nods in acceptance and support and kisses me on the forehead, "Let's do this."

So that's what we do.