(Mention of sexual and physical abuse)
I tried to hide the horror on my face
Who did this to him?
"Joong im im i um m sorry"
He was speaking through hiccups and his body would randomly shutter
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you know if there's anything I can do to help you because I'm not going to sleep until you're sleeping."
"Why do you have to be so stubborn~"
I could tell he was trying to act fine, lift the mood but he couldn't fool me
"Hwa you can't fool me. What can I do?"
He stared at his hands but his crying had calmed slightly
At least something was working
He stood up but wobbled
I was there in a second
I probably should've have but he didn't push away
Instead he turned to me and held onto me with a death grip
What did this to him?
"Hwa why don't we go to my room so we don't have to fight off cats or memories"
I spoke soft right next to his ear and he nodded
Good
I got hwa to stay attached to me while making it across the house
I made sure to leave the door open
Just in case
I moved the blankets and got up after getting hwa comfortable
He laid his head on my chest and grabbed my hand to play with it
Nervous
"So um Joongie something bad happened a while ago and it's very um harsh I guess I uh don't know how to say it but it caused me trauma but idk if you'll listen"
"I'm listening hwa"
"So when I was twenty I was caught in financial struggles and would get money from loan sharks that I couldn't repay so they um they called it the best part of work and they um they they joong they did bad stuff to me like um they would um beat me while them having their way with me and I had a dream that you got mad after I withdrawled and did some of what they did but I knew it wasn't you it was your body on someone else so as to before I've never done it willingly. I'm sorry for breaking down"
He looked up
I couldn't see but I felt it
I was trying to hide but I was crying
How could someone do this to anyone but especially my hwa what possessed you evil bodies
He saw me crying and flashed a sad smile
"But something about you just um make me feel safe I know you wouldn't hurt me you care"
"Hwa I don't know why but I care more about you than anyone else"
My voice cracked and it made seonghwa laugh
"Can I do something for you?"
It was more of a command than a question his voice deep
I nodded silently wondering
(Seonghwa pov)
I kissed him
Maybe I was confused but it helped
And he kissed back before pushing me off and checking if I was okay
And I sure was
I answered him with a gentle kiss then a bite on his lip
He took the top
He palmed me
Why is it thrilling when it's him I've only known him for hours
I gasped at the touch
He slid his tongue onto mine and completely felt every surface of my mouth
Damn that felt good
Did I forget to mention I hadn't put on a shirt?
Because Hongjoong just noticed
He pulled away breathing heavy before touching every single part of my upper body
His jaw was dropped and he managed to get over me before kissing me with more live than I've ever felt
He moved down to my jaw just under my jawline he kissed but hesitated
"Joong as far as other people are concerned I'm taken"
He understood in an instant and began to suck against my skin knowing the marks would last for days
And for the first time I wanted it
I tried to hold back but just remembering his reaction when I held back earlier
I let it roll off my tongue
His teeth sank into my skin before moving and creating a line of marks from my upper neck to between my pecs
I would be embarrassed on how much he turned me on but I felt good
Finally
He slid his hands over my chest before finding my nipples
Lord I'm going to hell with these reactions
