ψ(｀∇')ψ

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by _structure

by _structure

I have trouble believing i'm loved.

So with you I didn't have to beg for that love . .
I just knew that you loved me,
but I would still beg for you to stay.
I knew the more I had begged and cried
the more thorns enlarged.
The more poison ivy that grew . .
in this garden I had created.
But I was so convinced that this
was just the process of getting the garden
I so BADLY dreamed of.

So why do I still worry and care for this
garden that leaves thorns and scars in my hands?
Why must I worry and care about a boy
that might never see me ever again?
Why do I keep you in my prayers?
I beg god to protect you in every single one.
I write about you in every poem.
You're the main character in EVERY
single story in my head.

And I still long to question . . .
How much longer must you linger
in my dreams at night?
How much longer should my love letters
cover themselves in dust?

How much longer must I convince myself
that it was just love.

words: 192