Silly stories for silly people. ☆

(*⁰▿⁰*)?

Am I truly that foolish to be homesick for arms that have never held me?

Yes.

Even though you do not know my mothers name nor my fathers, you don't know my friends the way I know yours. Yet I still crave to just have a feel of your hand brushing across mine for a moment. You are just a stranger they said because the only names you remember are the ones you have made me ashamed of.
But wanna know what makes me most ashamed?

What I am most ashamed of is knowing how deeply I prayed about you every night.
How I begged god to help you change and protect you at all cost.
Because every night I sighed in relief knowing you are alive and happy.
How I never prayed about myself but about you.
And because of that everyday I curl into a ball rotting away filled with guilt and longing.
Longing to talk to you again and just feel the tip of your finger, it's silly but I am foolish.
Foolish because I am homsick for arms that have never held me, yes I am indeed foolish.

Because the first time I begged god for change you came back and told me you changed.
But what more could I give to you?
How many more prayers until you
finally change?
How much longer must you beg to analyze me?
When all I wanted to know was your
mothers name.
How much longer must I please you until
you finally hear my sobbing pleas?
Because I cried in silence that one call
as you got what you wanted.
Yet I still prayed for you that night begging god to CHANGE YOU. CHANGE. Is all I BEGGED for.
Because I thought if I gave you chances maybe it would be different. But I am indeed foolish.

Because I will never forget how foolish I was that night I held my throat gasping for air, as I bawled my eyes out to you.
Because I never once begged a boy to stay.
But I begged you to.
"please stay. please don't leave me."
Is what I plead. My body shook in fear, as I prayed you would stay, I don't think my heart ached so badly for someone like that.

You were different.
Because I still cry to my brother pleading that you were different in the beginning.
Pleading that you were sweet and charming.
Because you truly were sweet leaving me cute compliments and talked to me in a way that gave me nonstop butterflies.

So maybe I truly am foolish indeed.
Everyday giving everything I could to show you my love for you.
Because my secret love letters rot in dust as they wait for you to open up their love.
I was a secret writer .  . writing my love for you every chance I got.
I wish I could've showed you them before
we both parted ways.

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