Star Wars One-Shots

Padme's Predicament

Padmé Amidala felt trapped.

She really didn't think this through.

She had started a relationship with Anakin before she even knew who he was.

And the scary part was, she was more uncertain now than ever.

She remembered when Anakin had been a 9-year old boy, enslaved and in need of a friend. She had had nothing but affection for him back then. He just seemed so cute, kind, and innocent. He was just a child. She had almost felt like she was his mother.

But he had changed.

Nearly 14 years had passed since she first met him; in that time he had developed a thuggish body and a menacing look, a far cry from the small, cute, innocent child he had been on Tatooine when she first met him. Although she still thought he was still good-looking, it was more in an imposing kind of way.

But it was the changes in his personality that frightened her the most.

Sometimes he was gentle with her. Sometimes they could enjoy each other's company like they were true lovers. Sometimes he would get her wet and they would share laughs. Sometimes they could snog each other like there was no tomorrow, and be lost in the moment.

But those moments were getting rare now.

He had another side to him. One that was violent, loud, jealous, emotionally and physically abusive, and controlling. This side had been at the forefront far more often lately, and it scared Padmé more than anything else in the world. When it came out, she wanted nothing more than to distance herself from Anakin as much as possible.

Only she couldn't distance herself.

She was scared of what Anakin would do if she did.

She remembered how he had felt towards Rush Clovis; granted, she didn't particularly like Clovis either, but she had had to do business with him for the good of the Republic.

The look on Anakin's face when Clovis had tried to kiss her was something she would never forget. The raw, unfiltered rage he had shown was something that would terrify even the bravest of beings. Yes, Clovis shouldn't have tried to kiss her, but to say Anakin overreacted would be an understatement. He had beaten Clovis until he was nearly unconscious, not realizing his own strength in his rage, and only just snapped out of it before he gave Clovis permanent brain damage.

Padmé knew that Anakin could very well do the same to her if she tried to abandon their relationship.

Or worse.

He had become increasingly protective of her recently, and refused to let her go off on her own if he could help it. Padmé knew why he wouldn't let her; he was worried that she would find another guy and ditch Anakin for him.

And part- no, most - of her really wanted to ditch Anakin.

She really tried, but after the Clovis incident, she just couldn't feel comfortable around him anymore. Even if he was being gentle with her, she knew that his darker side was still lingering just below the surface, looking for any opportunity it could to take power, and the second an opportunity presented itself, it would seize it. And if his dark side's rage was directed at her, she didn't know if she would walk away alive.

Padmé didn't know what had caused Anakin to become like this, and he was only getting worse. She couldn't allow it to continue.

Much as she hated Anakin sometimes, and much as wanted to blame Anakin for everything, she also hated herself.

For being too weak to do the right thing.

She liked to tell herself that she had had no chances to run away, but the rational part of her brain reminded her that she could have run away - or ended things - several times. Yet, every time an opportunity presented itself, she didn't seem able to take it. She continued to stay with Anakin - and why? It was a different excuse every time. He was looking delicate, and I couldn't help but stay. He was sad today. He looked like he needed me, he was hurt. He was nice to me yesterday, maybe he'll continue being nice to me today. I needed to help him relax. Excuses, excuses.