Sam monroe x y/n

8

"What, the, fuck." I spoke quietly again my jaw practically on the floor.

I could feel tears pooling around my eyes as I saw my dad standing at the door.

Everyone was just switching their eyes to me and my dad waiting for someone to say something.

"You're all grown up." He acknowledged after a few moments in silence.

"No- no- no don't pull that fucking shit, you died, YOU FUCKING DIED!" I yelled my last words pointing at him with my tears coming out uncontrollably.

My mother as-well was staring at my dad with no words just tears, while my step-dad wrapped his arm around her trying to comfort her.

"Look y/n, I'm so, so sorry. I know you think I died but after they look me to the hospital and helped me, they sent me to a rehab center and I- I got better I just couldn't come back here, I couldn't, but look I'm back now and I'm better, I'm sober now." He stuttered while clenching onto the flowers.

How fucking dare he? You can't just 'die' and come back?!? I literally watched him seize up on the kitchen floor, I was 14...

"Oh so you just 'couldn't come back' could you?" I said sarcastically throwing up quotation marks.

"We're we that fucking bad to you that you had to fuck up our lives as-well? No you can just come back say you're a better person then rejoin our lives like nothing happened. You're a fucking psycho and a druggie and your dumb ass just had to pass that shit onto me DIDNT you?" It felt like I was pouring tears of grief and anger and all my emotions into my words.

"I'm so sorry y/n, please just come with me, I've got a place near the beach and i know it's small but it's got a great view and i can take you places and we can spend some father daughter time, I'll make up for all the years-" he spoke sincerely but before he could finish I cut him off. I know for a fact that this whole 'Mr nice guy' or 'actually loving dad' act was going to stop as soon as I left with him.

Sometimes I wish it were true and he was actually sober or atleast stay staying sober for a while but it would be too unrealistic for me too think that.

"Go to fucking hell." I pushed through him and the door and began walking out onto the road with only my socks on. I heard people call out to me from the house but that didn't stop me it only made me start jogging away faster.

I think they knew not to come after me because soon enough I was walking the streets alone at night with no shoes, food, water, phone or anything.

To my luck it was already spitting when I walked out but since then the rain started coming down a little harder drenching me in water making my hair and clothes stick to me like glue.

My tears were combining with the drips of water coming from the sky making my eye makeup drip and smudge as I wiped them away. My thoughts were scrambling around in my head and I couldn't keep focused on one thing or another causing my heart to beat fasten and breath to quicken.

I was trying to think straight on where to go but I really couldn't. I literally had no where to stay, I have no friends, obviously no family what the fuck was I going to do? Honestly I was fine with sleeping on the side of the road or in a tunnel, I don't care at this point.

My mind started drifting to the serious of events that had just happened, how my dad thought I would be okay with going away with him, is he fucking crazy? He's a drug addict, an alcoholic, and a fucking bipolar psycho, I was just like him.

My worst fear when I was little was to turn out like him, I wanted to be better, I thought I could be better, but of course I was wrong. I'm just like him and nothing can change that.

I let a few more tears run down my cheeks but then my thoughts invaded my actions as I quickly began rushing to someone I knew that had something I wanted. As I turned a few corners and crossed a few roads I got to a place I knew very well, I didn't think I would be back here so soon but I guess I was wrong.

I was in sort of like the 'druggie' and 'homeless' area of where I lived. I searched the current street I was walking in looking for a beat up black van parked on the side of the road.

I tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone because I knew how hostile everyone around here was. It was still raining so there really wasn't many people out they were all huddled away in the alleyways.

I finally saw the van and began jogging over there in hopes that the person I was coming to see would be in the there.

"Jay!" I whisper yelled as I peaked through the slid open door that had a rag to cover it.

I heard some rattling around which caused me to jump back but then I saw a familiar head pop out.

"Yo is that you tiny hands?" He held up the side of the rag to move it out of the way of his face as his head was peaked out the side of the van inspecting me to see if it really was me.

It was raining pretty hard and that caused it to get pretty foggy so I guess it would be hard to tell if it was me, also my eye makeup dripping down my face didn't help.

And yes he called me tiny hands, the reason for this was because when we first met it was at a smoke sesh I was having with some randoms around these streets. I was rolling up a joint and I always had a talent for that and it was the first thing he noticed about me. He would always say how jealous he was and that the only reason I'm so good is because I have tiny hands.

"Yes it's me." I rolled my eyes and chucked a smile towards him and held my hand out to dab him, he returned the gesture.

He invited me in and I went in on all fours into his van sitting down across from him.

"So you look like shit, and I haven't seen you in a while." He teased cracking a laugh and earning one from me two as well.

"Yeah nice to see you too Jay." I laughed.

"So what you doing around these areas, you need something?"

"Uhm" The last time I saw him I told him I wouldn't be buying anything anymore and it's abit shame that I'm back.

"Yea, I do." I said looking down and itching my bare arm that was getting red from the rain and me running.

"Ight, well I got you. You want needles or pills?" He asked as began rummaging through the boxes he had hidden beneath some clothes.

"Uh needles" i cleared my throat and itched it. "Please." I mumbled.

He passed me a bag that had 3 vials and one needle in it. I didn't even have a bag to carry it so I just shoved it into the elastic of my pants and reached into both my pockets searching for some money.

"Hey hey" jay put his cold hand onto mine causing me to stop my movements. "I got you, it's Ight." He looked deeply into my eyes and I could see his empathy for me.

I finally got up and crawled out the cramped van and stood on the streets looking back at jay who had his head peaked out.

"Thank you" I whispered, it was stupid of me to come back and I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. My life was shit anyways and this was the only thing that helped me cope.

A/N: guys I'm so sorry that this chapter had nothing to do with Sam and the next chapter or so also might have nothing to do with him but I promise it will get better and I'm planning a few things so it will get exciting. Also please bear with my horrible writing.

Anyways I hope you guys are enjoying this book xoxo