'Til Death do us Part // a Stolitz angst fanfic

Nightmare

TW: trauma, nightmares, mention of sexual assault

BLITZØ POV:

Soon after we break our kiss, he is asleep in my arms. He is practically purring.

This is the most comfort he has felt in days. Maybe ever.

I have to stay with him here, but I also need someone to keep I.M.P. running. It's my only source of income, my only way to support Loona and pay Moxxie and Millie. I can't just go days, even weeks without paying them.

I reach over for my phone, but still moving as little as possible so I don't wake Stolas.

Loony, I ned sum1 to luk aftr IMP whil I'm wit Stols. You abl 2?

I stare at the little bubble in the corner of my screen for what feels like forever before I get a response from Loona.

Sure, whatever. Millie is gonna be out for a few days obviously, and Moxxie is staying with her while she heals. Not sure when business will be back up. Sorry.

Oh.

No need 2 B sry, Millie was def bangd up. Stay safe swety <3

I notice just then that Stolas had rolled over, off my lap. I cover us both with a blanket, and just watch over him to make sure he is okay.

I can't afford to lose him.

I eventually dozed off with his warmth by my side. I always find myself weirdly tired when I'm around him.

My eyes flutter closed, my hand on his back. I check one last time that he is okay.

STOLAS POV:

I don't know what to do.

It's all flooding back. It always does.

Every time I close my eyes, I see it all over again. I'm so tired.

I want to sleep. I want to be safe in his arms. I want to stay with him forever, relishing every moment I feel his touch.

But every time I close my eyes...

the only touch I feel is hers.

The only voice I hear is his.

The only emotion I feel is fear.

Fear of Stella. Fear of my father. Fear of what might happen if I lost Blitzø.

In a twisted sort of way, I crave it. I crave the fear. I crave the terrible, horrifying way it all makes me feel. It makes me feel like maybe what I went through mattered.

In a twisted sort of way, I crave the way I sob into my pillow each night. The agonizing pain I feel every moment of every day. The feeling of her hands on me I can never seem to shake.

It scares me that I crave it.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. A soft, comforting hand, this time.

My eyes flutter open. I realize I am curled up, a foot or so away from Blitzø. I want to be in his arms, but I can't seem to move at all.

BLITZØ POV:

He looks at me with so much fear in his eyes. It shatters my heart in a way I can begin to describe.

He shakes so badly...

I want to hold him in my arms, but I can't seem to bring myself to do anything but look into his terrified eyes, frozen.

"Stolas..."

I reach my hand out to him. He flinches.

"Woah, hey, it's okay... I'm here. It's just you and me. Nobody can hurt you."

I can tell he is trying to speak. To say something, anything, but he can't.

I take his hand. He is shaking so bad...

"It's okay. I know it's... scary. I don't know what's on your mind right now Stolas..."

But I know the look in his eyes. It's a look I have seen in the mirror more times than I can count.

"I'm here for you. You can talk to me. If you are ready."

If he is ready.

AUTHORS NOTES:
Sooo a little longer between chapters this time. I was kinda banking on Full Moon coming out (at the time of writing this, it's not out yet) and I was going to reference it in this chapter, but obviously I can't yet. I am excited for what the coming months will bring for Helluva Boss, and what it will bring for this Fic!