Marauders - Always - Part One

Do You Have the Time?

"Peter, wait!"

Lily tugged her jumper closer around her torso as she followed after Peter. It had started drizzling lightly outside and the alley was speckled with puddles, the stairs leading up to the flat slick with rain. Peter was by the gate that led out to the street already, but he paused when she called his name and waited. If it had been any of the others, he wouldn't have held up - but for Lily, for Lily he would wait.

But he wouldn't let her touch him, he thought. He didn't need anymore of them stealing his thoughts and feelings like Sirius had been doing lately.

She rushed across the alley to him and when she'd caught him up, he started walking again. She followed him out of the alley and across the street to the park, his eyes downcast, both of them silent. She hugged herself against the damp air and glanced over her shoulder at the lights in the windows of the flat. They got to a particular bench that Peter had recently started sitting at to read and wait for Oni Lamm, and he dropped down onto the damp wood, laying the Grindelwald book down, not really caring if it was damaged or not. He sighed and leaned back, staring up at the overcast sky and feeling the water droplets fall on his cheeks. Lily stood before him, not wanting to sit in the rain water that hadn't phased Peter at all.

"I'm sorry that you feel so out of place among us," Lily said quietly. "I didn't know you felt like that."

He kept staring up at the sky.

"It's not been any of our intentions to hurt you, Peter," she added. "At least I know it hasn't been mine or James and I very much doubt that Sirius or Remus were ever out to hurt you, either. You're our friend and we all love you very much. Just like you love us."

Peter looked at her, his eyes sad. "I'm just not..." he paused, trying to think of an adjective, but there was none that seemed to cover all the ones he meant, and so he finished his sentence, "...enough."

"Oh Peter," Lily said, "You are enough."

"I never have been. I'm not athletic enough, I'm not funny enough, not brave enough, not smart enough, not kind enough, not creative enough, not bold enough, not patient enough, not strong enough, not quick enough, not -- anything -- enough. The rest of you are so talented and witty, so strong and brave and loving and funny and good looking and then there's - there's just me. Compared to James, for example, I'm rubbish."

Lily shook her head, "Peter, why are you comparing yourself to anyone?"

"Everyone else is."

"We aren't," Lily said. "We love you, Peter, because you're you. It isn't a competition."

Peter stared at the sky without speaking. Then, after a long pause, he said, "I just want to be memorable for something, something besides being the fat kid that followed around after James and Sirius in school."

"Peter you're so much more than ---"

"Excuse me?" 

Both Lily and Peter looked up. A young man and a woman had walked up without them noticing, seemingly appearing out of no where. The young man had been the one who had spoken, interrupting Lily. He nodded at Peter, "Very sorry," he said, "I can't help but notice your watch there, it caught my eye, and - see, my own watch here... very old piece... needs winding and I haven't the time. By chance do you have the time so I can wind up?"

Lily stared at the strangers. The woman smiled shyly at her, lingering a couple steps behind the young man.

"Uh - yeah - yes, sure," Peter said and he looked at his watch, "It's - it's half eleven."

"Ah yes, very good," the young man grinned and turned to look at the woman, "Half eleven already! Can you believe it. Seems like it was only just five-o'clock, dunnit?" and he laughed.