Marauders - Always - Part One

Sirius's Achilles Heel

Freddie Mercury's voice carried through the pub and Sirius clutched Remus's hands as he spun about him. People were glancing their way with looks of disapproval; Remus felt his cheeks redden and he hissed, "Sirius, c'mon now. We're in muggle public." But Sirius's excitement was infectious and soon James had Lily up, and Lula was watching the two couples from where she sat at the table.

Spencer had turned in his seat to watch, too.

Lula looked at him. Her voice was gentle, a bit nervous, "Stewie."

He looked at her.

"I really am sorry - for everything."

He rubbed his nose and nodded, eyes not quite meeting hers.

"I really am. I was just so... You confinded something to me, something I know is very terrifying to say out-loud about oneself and instead of being supportive and kind to you, I had to be a priss." Lula sighed. "I thought I was better than that." She shrugged.

Stewie was quiet, then he said, "I thought you were too, which was why I told you."

Lula hung her head.

"And I know it's not an easy thing to hear - and to hear it from the boy you're dating must be even worse," he murmured.

"It wasn't fun, that's for bloody sure." Lula stared at Remus and Sirius dancing in a cluster with James and Lily. They looked so happy and well paired - both couples did. "I wish I could be everything you want," she said to Stewie.

"I honestly don't know what I want anymore," he answered. "And I have more conflicting emotions now than ever." He followed her gaze to Remus and Sirius and shook his head, "Why can't love be as easy as they make it look?"

"Surely it isn't any easier for them than it is for anyone else," Lula answered. "People don't generally wear their trauma on their sleeves."

"Sirius usually does," Stewie laughed, "Trust me, you live with them a couple weeks and the drama is real."

Lula laughed, "As real as me screaming for you to despider the bath at two in the morning?"

"I fully expect to one day be wakened by Sirius screaming exactly the same way as you did that night," Stewie said, a smile ghosting across his lips.

"Have you been drawing?"

Stewie nodded. He wished so much he could tell her about the moving paper, about the way the waves undulated and the stars fell across skies of watercolor pigment. He wanted to tell her about the magic beasts in the book he'd looked at from the shelf, about the dragons and the stacks of buttered toast that flew about the kitchen in the mornings, and the flash of green flame that carried them to and from the Potter Cottage and Sirius's flying motorbike, which he'd been told about but had yet to see in action... But he couldn't. Remus had made him swear not to. Even thinking of telling her made his jaw ache with a mysterious thumping that seemed to come from the deepest part of him - as though he couldn't tell her, even if he tried his body would fight him because he'd been told not to tell her.

But she would love it if she knew, she'd be so interested and full of questions... They'd spent so many late nights philosophizing and "what if"-ing over ideas and stories and fantasies like that. He longed to tell her it was all real and that he was now a part of this whole other world. Lula, at least, would think his new "furry little problem" cool, even if the rest of the wizarding world apparently did not.

He did.

He thought it was rather awesome, actually.

And he thought Remus was awesome for it, too.